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Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education. Do you agree or disagree. v.9

Crime is the major problem for a number of countries and the solution for this problem is prison. Most of the countries keep their criminals in prison. Another kind of person says education is the better solution for criminals. Almost every country is following this person system to control crime in their respective countries. The reason is it has been proven system. Furthermore, they have been kept certain years and given different kind of work in person so that government have some hope they can change before they get outside. For example, report by the United States of American police department almost 50 percent of poisoners are changed who went to jail and after came to outside most of them taken Truck driver jobs. As a result, they don't want to go to person again so they changed and in person they got to know about work culture, this let them to change. However, some other kind of people point of view education can change prisoners but, i think most of the prisoners don’t have proper basic knowledge about education and they did different kind of labor jobs and crime related things for them this is a sudden change and in education they have to sit plethora amount time to learn a subject and most of the prisoners are aged persons in that age they have less interest on studies. For instance, this kind of education system was taken place in Indian jails but most of them are not interested, instead of education they went to labor related jobs in jails. Thus, for prisoners education system is a failed path and for them learning real time labor work is best although they have interest on those jobs. In conclusion, education is a good idea for prisoners but it won't work for aged prisoners. Moreover, it is good for young prisoners. I think, person is the right thing for criminals and they can learn some labor related work also in person it is going to help them after releasing.
Crime is the major problem for a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and the solution for this problem is prison. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their criminals in prison. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
says
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the better solution for criminals.

Almost every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is following this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
to control crime in their respective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The reason is it has
been proven
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
.
Furthermore
, they have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
certain years and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
Use a comma before ‘so’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hope they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
outside.
For example
, report by the United States of American police department almost 50 percent of poisoners are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
who went to jail and after came to outside most of them taken Truck driver jobs.
As a result
, they don't want to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
again
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
to know about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
culture, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
point of view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
,
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
don’t have proper basic knowledge about
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
education and
they did
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
labor
jobs and crime related things for them this is a sudden
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
sit plethora amount time to learn a subject and most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
are aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
in that age they have less interest on studies.
For instance
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
was taken
place in Indian jails
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
most of them are not interested,
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
they went to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
labor
related jobs in jails.
Thus
, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
is a failed path and for them learning real time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
labor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is best although they have interest on those jobs.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it won't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
.
Moreover
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisoners
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is the right thing for
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
criminals and
they can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
labor
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
also
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
it is going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them after releasing.
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With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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