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Does the educational success of a person depend on the teacher or it is the attitude of the student that plays the main role. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Does the educational success of a person depend on the teacher or it is the attitude of the student that plays the main role. v. 1
Nowadays, online resources make it possible to advance in the self-education. On what depends the educational success of a student? Mainly argued that it depends on a teacher or on the student's efforts. In this essay I will discuss both sides of the argument in detail and provide evidence as to why a teacher plays the main role in the educational success of a person. On the one hand, when it comes to the education, the teacher is a shortcut to achieve a goal. Thus, any subject that has to be studied, already has been studied by someone for many years. As a result, anything for what several years could be spent can be learnt in several months. For example, in order to learn so simple subject as a software engineering myriads of resources has to be red, whereas a teacher can show in one twenty minutes practical lesson what is in reality is written on the hundreds of book pages. There is no doubt, that only a teacher shows the shortest and useful path to gain knowledge. On the other hand, even though someone teaches perfectly, without student's attitude, it is a complete waste of the time. If the student is not interested in the topic, so all the teacher's words are just the sounds in the air. For instance, it can be clearly seen on the graduation exams, when boys and girls from the same course, with the same teachers and same lessons come up with the different knowledge. Therefore, knowledge wouldn't be just placed into the person's mind unless person properly receives and proceeds it further. To sum up, in my opinion, to gain any knowledge the student's attitude is required, however, to be really successful in the education teacher's job is needed. I believe that two equally effective students will achieve different scores if they were taught by two different professors. Moreover, the third student who has studied by himself will get less scores compared to the two above mentioned.
Nowadays, online resources
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it possible to advance in the self-education. On what depends the educational success of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
?
Mainly
argued that it depends on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
or on the student's efforts. In this essay I will discuss both sides of the argument in detail and provide evidence as to why a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
plays the main role in the educational success of a person.

On the one hand, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the education, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
is a shortcut to achieve a goal.
Thus
, any subject that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be studied
, already has
been studied
by someone for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years.
As a result
, anything for what several years could
be spent
can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
in several months.
For example
, in order to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
simple subject as a software engineering myriads of resources
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be red
, whereas a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
in one twenty minutes practical lesson what is in reality
is written
on the hundreds of book pages. There is no doubt, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the shortest and useful path to gain knowledge.

On the other hand
,
even though
someone teaches
perfectly
, without student's attitude, it is a complete waste of the time. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is not interested in the topic,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
all the teacher's words are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the sounds in the air.
For instance
, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
on the graduation exams, when boys and girls from the same course, with the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and same lessons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
knowledge.
Therefore
, knowledge wouldn't be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
placed into the person's mind unless person
properly
receives and proceeds it
further
.

To sum up, in my opinion, to gain any knowledge the student's attitude
is required
,
however
, to be
really
successful in the education teacher's job
is needed
. I believe that two
equally
effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will achieve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
scores if they
were taught
by two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
professors.
Moreover
, the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who has studied by himself will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun scores is countable.
less
scores compared to the two above mentioned.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Does the educational success of a person depend on the teacher or it is the attitude of the student that plays the main role. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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