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Doctors in many countries say that people are not getting enough physical exercise these days. What do you think are the causes of this problem? What can be done to solve this? v.1

Doctors in many countries say that people are not getting enough physical exercise these days. What do you think are the causes of this problem? What can be done to solve this? v. 1
Nowadays, a low physical activity level is a common problem all over the world; it leads to different diseases, and doctors claim that such issues should be resolved in order to have a healthy society. Mostly, people do not spend time actively because there are not enough areas in big cities for running or walking; therefore, people prefer to spend their leisure time at home. To solve this issue, the government should promote a healthy lifestyle and make it appealing to their citizens. Because of long commuting times, people are less motivated to spend time exercising. For the most part, they come home after work and have no reasons to go somewhere from their houses; it is more comfortable to stay at home rather than spend about two hours driving to the nearest gym or park if they want to run. Cities are not convenient for an active lifestyle, and usually city builders do not plan any infrastructure for sport activities. It leads to a low activity level among citizens and a growing number of diseases connected to it. As people are not proactive, the government should promote an active lifestyle among them. There are several ways how to do that, but the most simple is to create more recreational areas and sports facilities. When people have alternatives on how to spend their time, they choose the healthiest one; therefore, cities that have enough public places to play sport or walk show lower rates of health issues caused by a low physical activity. For example, the number of people exercising and playing sports in Dnipro has increased significantly when local authorities built several sport areas in the city. It shows a connection between a number of sports facilities available and people’s activity. To sum up, the world’s population is under the threat of diseases caused by a low physical activity level. Local authorities should address this issue and create more recreational places to promote exercising and sports.
Nowadays, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
level is a common problem all over the world; it leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
diseases, and doctors claim that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
should
be resolved
in order to have a healthy society.
Mostly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
actively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
areas in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for running or walking;
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at home. To solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should promote a healthy lifestyle and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it appealing to their citizens.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of long commuting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are less motivated to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
exercising.
For the most part
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
home after work and have no reasons to go somewhere from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
; it is more comfortable to stay at home
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
about two hours driving to the nearest gym or park if they want to run.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cities
are not convenient for an active lifestyle, and
usually
city builders do not plan any infrastructure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. It leads to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
level among citizens and a growing number of diseases connected to it.

As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not proactive, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should promote an active lifestyle among them. There are several ways how to do that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This adjective uses the short comparatives form.
the most simple
is to create more recreational areas and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have alternatives on how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they choose the healthiest one;
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
that have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
public places to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
or walk
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
lower rates of health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
caused by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
.
For example
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
exercising and playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in Dnipro has increased
significantly
when local authorities built several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
areas in the city. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities available and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
activity.

To sum up, the world’s population is under the threat of diseases caused by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
level. Local authorities should address this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
and create more recreational places to promote exercising and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Doctors in many countries say that people are not getting enough physical exercise these days. What do you think are the causes of this problem? What can be done to solve this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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