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Doctors in many countries are saying that people are not getting enough physical exercise. What are the causes of this and how it can be address? v.1

Doctors in many countries are saying that people are not getting enough physical exercise. What are the causes of this and how it can be address? v. 1
It is certainly true that the people who are obese more prone to the health related issues. The habit of eating the junk food and having a busy lifestyle are common reasons for increasing the weight of a person. This essay will not only highlight the reasons associated with this problem, but also present some potential measures to mitigate it. There are myriad reasons that people these days are overweight or obese. Firstly, the regular intake of junk food increases the weight of a person's weight at very high pace. Obese people likely to be getting effected from cardiovascular disease. Secondly, the poor lifestyle of the modern youth is also responsible for the obesity. Nowadays, children spend the most of their time in playing video games and watching TV. Moreover, adults are sitting jobs and they do not spend some in the physical activities and exercise. . Finally, the availability of processed foods in the market decreases the trend of homemade food, people like just buy them and quickly cook in their homes without knowing its nutrition proportion and hygienic. Due to these reasons, people gain weight and suffer from serious health diseases. However, there is always a possible way to resolve any issue, hence, to overcome the problem of overweight, there is a need to take some effective measures. People should avoid eating fast foods and prefer homemade foods. Furthermore, they should spare their time for the exercise and physical exertions. Parents and teachers should encourage the children to get engaged with sports activities. In the same vein, the government can play a vital role like either they should ban the processed foods or take care the food constituents and nutrients. By noting only these solutions, one can reduce the chances of obesity and major health risks. In conclusion, the matter of extra weight is increasing day by day. It has become the one of the serious problems these days. Due to the poor lifestyle and the consumption of junk food lead to heart diseases, hypertension and many other serious health problems. To tackle this, one should promote the exercise and sports activities which can be a big change in people's lives. Government should also do a quality check on what people eat or consume in their daily routine.
It is
certainly
true that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are obese more prone to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
related issues. The habit of eating the junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and having a busy lifestyle are common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
of a person. This essay will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
highlight the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
associated with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
present
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
potential measures to mitigate it.

There are myriad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days are overweight or obese.
Firstly
, the regular intake of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
increases the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
of a person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high pace. Obese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
likely to be getting effected from cardiovascular disease.
Secondly
, the poor lifestyle of the modern youth is
also
responsible for the obesity. Nowadays, children spend the most of their time in playing video games and watching TV.
Moreover
, adults are sitting
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
jobs and
they do not spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
in the physical activities and exercise.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Finally
, the availability of processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
in the market decreases the trend of homemade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them and
quickly
cook in their homes without knowing its nutrition proportion and hygienic. Due to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
and suffer from serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
diseases.

However
, there is always a possible way to resolve any issue,
hence
, to overcome the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of overweight, there is a need to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effective measures.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should avoid eating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and prefer homemade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
Furthermore
, they should spare their time for the exercise and physical exertions. Parents and teachers should encourage the children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
engaged with sports activities. In the same vein, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can play a vital role like either they should ban the processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
or take care the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
constituents and nutrients. By noting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
these solutions, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the chances of obesity and major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.

In conclusion
, the matter of extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
is increasing day by day. It has become the one of the serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
these days. Due to the poor lifestyle and the consumption of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
lead to heart diseases, hypertension and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. To tackle this, one should promote the exercise and sports activities which can be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should
also
do a quality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
on what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
eat or consume in their daily routine.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Doctors in many countries are saying that people are not getting enough physical exercise. What are the causes of this and how it can be address? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
380 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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