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Nowadays young people spend too much of their time in shopping malls Some people fear that this may have negative effects on young people and the society they live in To what extent do you agree or disagree v.1

Nowadays young people spend too much of their time in shopping malls Some people fear that this may have negative effects on young people and the society they live in v. 1
Living at the forefront of the era gives us the opportunity of using cutting edge technology such as a laptop in our schools. There is an opinion that these devices could promote the level of education without complicity. Using laptop could be led to this promotion by providing some facilities including accessing to the internet and playing the role of a library for students. One of the major application of laptop as common tools for students is connecting the net. A wide variety of information is gathered in this cyberspace and its diversification is expanding continuously. This data encompasses videos and animations which are made in special subjects for students to help them learn their lessons easier. Some of them related to the same courses that are taught to students around the world and they could be used by students in other countries. Such teaching-staff is provided based on the latest teaching methods what makes them more efficient. For instance; an animation that shows chemical reactions with details boosts the imagination of students about chemical concepts. Students’ laptop not only opens the window of virtual space with the mentioned blessings to their home, but also bring a library shelf to their room. Saving data is one of the most applicable features of these lovely gadgets inasmuch as they have enough capacity to be occupied by a great deal of e-books. Such books are available mostly in the format of PDF, which is very common at the edge of the new millennium. Availability and being searchable are two strong roots of their popularity, which lets students search for a specific word and find it easily at the blink and carry this electronic library in their backpack. In conclusion, having a laptop is one of today’s schools' requirements for students. This smart device helps them to search on the net whenever they want and could be a replacement for traditional libraries. Such services make us take technology for granted.
Living at the forefront of the era gives us the opportunity of using cutting edge technology such as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
in our schools. There is an opinion that these devices could promote the level of education without complicity. Using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
could
be led
to this promotion by providing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
facilities including accessing to the internet and playing the role of a library for students.

One of the major application of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
as common tools for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is connecting the net. A wide variety of information
is gathered
in this cyberspace and its diversification is expanding
continuously
. This data encompasses videos and animations which
are made
in special subjects for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them learn their lessons easier.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them related to the same courses that
are taught
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
around the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
world and
they could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in other countries. Such teaching-staff
is provided
based on the latest teaching methods what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them more efficient.
For instance
; an animation that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
chemical reactions with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
boosts the imagination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
about chemical concepts.

Students’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
opens the window of virtual space with the mentioned blessings to their home,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
bring a library shelf to their room. Saving data is one of the most applicable features of these lovely gadgets inasmuch as they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
capacity to
be occupied
by a great deal of e-books. Such books are available
mostly
in the format of PDF, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common at the edge of the new millennium. Availability and being searchable are two strong roots of their popularity, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
search for a specific word and find it
easily
at the blink and carry this electronic library in their backpack.

In conclusion
, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laptop
is one of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s schools' requirements for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. This smart device
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to search on the net whenever they want and could be a replacement for traditional libraries. Such services
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us take technology for granted.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays young people spend too much of their time in shopping malls Some people fear that this may have negative effects on young people and the society they live in v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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