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Doctor assisted suicide should be legal or banned? v.1

Doctor assisted suicide should be legal or banned? v. 1
Suicide is the 8th leading cause of death. One of the main factors is linked to a terminal disease. At least 400 hundred people with a terminal disease commit suicide every year. People who are diagnosed with a terminal disease are not able to treat or make any sort of improvement to get better. In order to end the suffering, doctors came up with the solution called 'doctor assisted suicide'. Doctor assisted suicide is the act of killing yourself with the aid of doctors. It is very controversial whether it should be legalized or not. The following essay will illustrate why it should be legalized. To begin, everyone has right to die. If we are in a severe medical condition that is unbearable, the options should be given. We can only look forward to lives filled with yet more suffering, degradation and deterioration. When such people beg for a merciful end to their pain and indignity, it is cruel and inhumane to refuse their pleas. According to the research, for the patients, the care and medical bill they require to stay alive provides a pressure and burden on them as well as their family. Drugs for assisted suicide are far less expensive than the cost of medical care. No matter what the process is, the outcome is the same. So it helps to lessen the cost. On the other hand, the opponents claim that most people do not go through this process, even if it is legalized. About 1 in 6 agree to undergo the procedure. The rest of them prefer to live as long as they can. Also, people believe that doctor assisted suicide encourages the desire for death. It could lead to people giving up on treatment and losing good years of their lives. But it only allows for those people with terminal disease and who have six or less months to live. To conclude, the options should be given to the patients who are suffering from terminal disease.
Suicide is the 8th leading cause of death. One of the main factors
is linked
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
terminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
. At least 400 hundred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
terminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
commit suicide every year.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who
are diagnosed
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
terminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
are not able to treat or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any sort of improvement to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
the suffering,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
came up with the solution called 'doctor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assisted
suicide'.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Doctor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assisted
suicide is the act of killing yourself with the aid of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
controversial whether it should
be legalized
or not. The following essay will illustrate why it should
be legalized
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, everyone has right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
. If we are in a severe medical condition
that is
unbearable, the options should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
look forward to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
filled with
yet
more suffering, degradation and deterioration. When such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
beg for a merciful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
to their pain and indignity, it is cruel and inhumane to refuse their pleas.

According to the research, for the patients, the care and medical bill they require
Did you mean "staying"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to stay
alive provides a pressure and burden on them
as well
as their family. Drugs for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assisted
suicide are far less expensive than the cost of medical care. No matter what the process is, the outcome is the same.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to lessen the cost.

On the other hand
, the opponents claim that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not go through this process, even if it
is legalized
. About 1 in 6
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to undergo the procedure. The rest of them prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
as long as they can.

Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
assisted
suicide encourages the desire for death. It could lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
giving up on treatment and losing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
years of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
terminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
and who have six or
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun months is countable.
less
months to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

To conclude
, the options should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the patients who are suffering from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
terminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Doctor assisted suicide should be legal or banned? v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
331 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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