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Do you think that technological advancement has brought more harm than good. Use specific reasons and details to support your opinion. It is undeniable fact that technologies have been developing day by day and it has changed the society and lifestyles of v.1

Do you think that technological advancement has brought more harm than good. Use specific reasons and details to support your opinion. It is undeniable fact that technologies have been developing day by day and it has changed the society and lifestyles of v. 1
Traditionally, people who attained the age of retirement would simply leave their place of work for a life full of leisure. Increasingly around the world, it has been observed that more and more retirees have made the decision to continue working, for example, taking on freelance or consultancy positions. The reasons for this are many fold, which I will explain below. Based on my observations of this trend, I am emphatically in favour of retirees working, as this brings benefits not only to the retiree but also to the community at large. One key benefit generated by retirees continuing to work is that the store of knowledge possessed by the retiree is not lost. Having spent many years honing their craft, it would be a waste to lose those skill sets of the older generation when they attain the age of retirement. I have observed many companies engaging their former employees after they attain the age of retirement in contract consultancy positions to ensure these valuable members of the organisation are available to coach the younger generation and provide continuity of knowledge. Another benefit is that the retiree will still enjoy a source of income, which would be helpful in defraying high living expenses. Inflation rates around the world are high at present, and lead to rising costs of living. Some retirees I know, who chose not to work and rely on their savings are constantly stressed trying to make ends meet. They must forego luxuries that they could afford when they were working, simply because they no longer have the means to spend on them, as inflation eats into the purchasing power of their savings. For retirees who found pleasure in their work in the past, working past pullout age would be an enjoyable task. I have observed some retirees who used to thrive in the previous careers and who previously enjoyed the thrill and excitement of their work, find themselves utterly bored when they no longer work. Indeed, I have observed that older people who do not keep their minds active might even suffer from health ailments such as dementia. Having considered the points above, I believe that people choose to work after the age of retirement as they can still contribute their skills, earn a decent income, and find it an enjoyable activity that may even benefit their health. Due to these advantages, I am firmly in favour of the older generation choosing to work after their evacuation.
Traditionally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
attained the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
would
simply
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their place of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for a life full of leisure.
Increasingly
around the world, it has been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
observed
that more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirees
have made the decision to continue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
,
for example
, taking on freelance or consultancy positions. The reasons for this are
Possible agreement error. The noun fold seems to be countable; consider using: "many folds".
many fold
, which I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
below. Based on my observations of this trend, I am
emphatically
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
, as this brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retiree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to the community at large.

One key
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
generated by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirees
continuing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is that the store of knowledge possessed by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retiree
is not lost. Having spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years honing their craft, it would be a waste to lose those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
sets of the older generation when they attain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
. I have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
observed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
engaging their former employees after they attain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
in contract consultancy positions to ensure these valuable members of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
are available to coach the younger generation and provide continuity of knowledge.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retiree
will
still
enjoy a source of income, which would be helpful in defraying high living expenses. Inflation rates around the world are high at present, and lead to rising costs of living.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirees
I know,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
chose not to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and rely on their savings are
constantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
forego luxuries that they could afford when they were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
,
simply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they no longer have the means to spend on them, as inflation eats into the purchasing power of their savings.

For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
found pleasure in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
past pullout
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
would be an enjoyable task. I have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
observed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to thrive in the previous careers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
previously enjoyed the thrill and excitement of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, find themselves
utterly
bored when they no longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Indeed
, I have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
observed
that older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their minds active might even suffer from health ailments such as dementia.

Having considered the points above, I believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
as they can
still
contribute their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, earn a decent income, and find it an enjoyable activity that may even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
their health. Due to these advantages, I am
firmly
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the older generation choosing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
after their evacuation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Do you think that technological advancement has brought more harm than good. Use specific reasons and details to support your opinion. It is undeniable fact that technologies have been developing day by day and it has changed the society and lifestyles of v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
411 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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