Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Do you think that technological advancement has brought more harm than good? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v.2

Do you think that technological advancement has brought more harm than good? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v. 2
Nowadays, the advancement of technology is considered to affect people’s daily life by many factors. I believe the existence of technological advances cause both advantages and disadvantages. The technological advancement can make people to depend on it. It helps people in working or to communicate with others. For example, people will certainly bring their mobile phones whenever they go to call and text or work with others. By bringing their gadget or other electronic devices, people do not need to stay at their work place with their partner to work instead they can work using their electronic devices. Electronic devices help people with their job more easily and conveniently. On the other hand, it may bring harm to people if they use electronic devices too often and really depends on it. Firstly, many children spends most of their time on using a mobile phone to play video games which spoil their eyes, in result, many of them use spectacles at a young age. Secondly, people who get used with electronic devices will be lazy and constantly making use of their phone in every purpose. For instance, they would prefer to use their electronic devices to communicate rather than meet face-to-face. Electronic devices could make a bad habit for people if they misuse it. In conclusion, despite the development of technology provides us convenience in working, it causes more harm than the benefit. People will end up in getting lazy and spoil their eyes at a young age due to engage electronic devices in their daily life inevitably.
Nowadays, the advancement of technology
is considered
to affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
daily life by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors. I believe the existence of technological advances cause both advantages and disadvantages.

The technological advancement can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to depend on it. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in working or to communicate with others.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
certainly
bring their mobile phones whenever they go to call and text or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with others. By bringing their gadget or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not need to stay at their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
place with their partner to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
instead
they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
using their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with their job more
easily
and
conveniently
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it may bring harm to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
and
really
depends on it.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children spends most of their time on using a mobile phone to play video games which spoil their eyes, in result,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
spectacles at a young age.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
will be lazy and
constantly
making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of their phone in every purpose.
For instance
, they would prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
to communicate
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
face-to-face.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habit for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
if they misuse it.

In conclusion
, despite the development of technology provides us convenience in working, it causes more harm than the benefit.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in getting lazy and spoil their eyes at a young age due to engage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
in their daily life
inevitably
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Do you think that technological advancement has brought more harm than good? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts