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Do you think that technological advancement has brought more harm than good. Use specific reasons and details to support your opinion. It is undeniable fact that technologies have been developing day by day and it has changed the society and lifestyles of v.3

Do you think that technological advancement has brought more harm than good. Use specific reasons and details to support your opinion. It is undeniable fact that technologies have been developing day by day and it has changed the society and lifestyles of v. 3
There are manifold points to endorse the magnificent side of technological advancement. First and foremost, a remarkable difference can be seen between todays' s communication methods and a few decade ago. To demonstrate, today' s communication methods are more efficient and rapid. The development of mobile phones with different applications like messenger, viber, what' s app e. t. c. People can make distance communication with their loved ones without face to face contact. As an evidence of this, students who live in abroad for their higher studies can do video calls with their family. They do not feel alone and can have family environment through video calls. The development of internet makes people life more convenient and efficient. For example, people can delve any topics in the internet related to their works and education. They should not be anxious about any unfamiliar topics. Despite, the technological advancement has drawbacks too. People using computer consistently can have health problems like back pain, headache and eye problem. In addition to that, people can be caused by obesity problem due to lack of of physical exercises. Because of technological advancement, they should not get out from their room and all necessary things are accessible in their room. In conclusion, I think technological development has many benefits for people in their study, works and in entertainment too. But it is clear that, using computers can create different health problems. People should take advantages of growing technology in right ways without putting themselves in danger road.
There are manifold points to endorse the magnificent side of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
advancement.
First
and foremost, a remarkable difference can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
between
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays&
#039; s communication methods and a few decade ago. To demonstrate,
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s communication methods are more efficient and rapid. The development of mobile phones with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
applications like messenger,
Possible spelling mistake found.
viber
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
what&
#039; s app e. t. c.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
distance communication with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones without face to face contact. As an evidence of this, students who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in abroad for their higher studies can do video calls with their family. They do not feel alone and can have family environment through video calls.

The development of internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
life more convenient and efficient.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can delve any topics
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
related to their works and education. They should not be anxious about any unfamiliar topics.

Despite, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
advancement has drawbacks too.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
using computer
consistently
can have health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
like back pain, headache and eye
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
In addition
to that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
be caused
by obesity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
due to lack
Possible typo: you repeated a word
of of
physical exercises.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
advancement, they should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out from their room and all necessary things are accessible in their room.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
development has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their study, works and in entertainment too.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that, using computers can create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should take advantages of growing technology in right ways without putting themselves in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
road.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Do you think that technological advancement has brought more harm than good. Use specific reasons and details to support your opinion. It is undeniable fact that technologies have been developing day by day and it has changed the society and lifestyles of v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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