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There have been many technological developments in the 20th century, for example in transport, telecommunications and health. What technological development do you think has been the most important? How has it changed people's lives? Have all the changes been positive? v.1

There have been many technological developments in the 20th century, for example in transport, telecommunications and health. What technological development do you think has been the most important? How has it changed people's lives? Have all the changes been positive? v. 1
In 20th centuary, technology can be taken as a great revolution for humans. Undoubtedly, technology has cahnged the landscapes of human life to an unimaginable level. Invention of transportation, medical and telecon has a great impact on people life. I strongly advocate the approach that technology acts as a boon in today's era and i belief it has drawbacks too. I will portray my views in the following paragraphs. First and foremost, transport changes lifestyle of masses. Taking you back in 1990's prior to, lack of transportation facilities people had to wait longer hours to reached their destiny. However, in modern era transport embodies the fact that individual approaches towards their destination quickly. The report from bbc news has showed that government has consistently devotes a great investment in technological sector just for the betterment of folks. Adding Further, Telecommunication plays an inevitable part for everyone aroung the world. Communication device like mobile phone enables an individual to connected with their beloved ones in a quick second. Moreover, in the same way websites such as facebook, whatsapp and instagram allows people to chit-chat 24 hours 7 days a week. Aforementioned statements fortifies the fact that technology acts as a precursor to ease everyone's life. On the contrary, technology has a destructive influence on masses. Invention of washing machines lead people to get obese as washing machines completely devastated hand work. For instance, Aajtak news channel in India has shown that approximately 92. 3% of women tends to wash clothes through laundry machines. Furthermore, the news has demonstrated that around 62. 3% of women are getting thicker with the excessive use of machines consequently, technology has an adverse effect too. In conclusion, it cannot be deniable that technology enhances the improvemet in the life of humans. In contrast, it puts a detrimental affects on human health.
In 20th
Possible spelling mistake found.
centuary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can
be taken
as a great revolution for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
Possible spelling mistake found.
cahnged
the landscapes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
life to an unimaginable level. Invention of transportation, medical and
Possible spelling mistake found.
telecon
has a great impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
life. I
strongly
advocate the approach that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
acts as a boon in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era and i belief it has drawbacks too. I will portray my views in the following paragraphs.

First
and foremost, transport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
lifestyle of masses. Taking you back
The article is probably missing here: "in the 1990's".
in 1990's
prior to, lack of transportation facilities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had to wait longer hours to reached their destiny.
However
, in modern era transport embodies the fact that individual approaches towards their destination
quickly
. The report from
Possible spelling mistake found.
bbc
news has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has
consistently
devotes a great investment in technological sector
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for the betterment of folks.

Adding
Further
, Telecommunication plays an inevitable part for everyone
Possible spelling mistake found.
aroung
the world. Communication device like mobile phone enables an individual to
Did you mean "connect"?
connected
with their beloved ones in a quick second.
Moreover
,
in the same way
websites such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
whatsapp
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
instagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to chit-chat 24 hours 7 days a week. Aforementioned statements fortifies the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
acts as a precursor to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
everyone's life.

On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has a destructive influence on masses. Invention of washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
obese as washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
completely devastated hand work.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Aajtak
news channel in India has shown that approximately 92. 3% of women tends to wash clothes through laundry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
.
Furthermore
, the news has demonstrated that around 62. 3% of women are getting thicker with the excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has an adverse effect too.

In conclusion
, it cannot be deniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
enhances the
Possible spelling mistake found.
improvemet
in the life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
In contrast
, it puts a detrimental affects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
health.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay There have been many technological developments in the 20th century, for example in transport, telecommunications and health. What technological development do you think has been the most important? How has it changed people's lives? Have all the changes been positive? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
305 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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