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Do you think that modern technology, such as the internet and computers will ever replace the book or the written word as the main source of information? v.8

Do you think that modern technology, such as the internet and computers will ever replace the book or the written word as the main source of information? v. 8
Technology and technological inventions appear in different forms. Some parts of it affect the entire human lives and some parts of it function just for a short period of time for some selected part of the world or population. One of the distinctive shapes of technology is the Internet and computers by which our lifestyle is altered every year. Furthermore, it effectuates our source of knowledge. In centuries we just read books to obtain knowledge but computers, especially in recent years, have changed our viewpoints. As a direct result of advanced technology, our life became more comfortable than ever before. It is true for every aspect; even reading books and articles and gathering knowledge. Different capabilities of electronic books and websites are tempting enough to commence utilising this technology as soon as possible. For example, the ability to search online and getting necessary information promptly has revolutionised the way we look for something and the way we find the sources of information. Furthermore, the capacity of storing a great number of books just on the nail-sized chip has replaced the multistoried library into their online edition. In addition, the cost of reading will reduce due to not making use of physical paper. Along those benefits, we are capable of bringing e-books everywhere we go and this opportunity of portability is unique throughout the history of mankind. However, there is a widespread belief that making use of computers in every part of our life is abominable and leads to alienation. Also sometimes the cost of generating e-books is higher than physical books. Moreover, the wasting of energy for storing virtual books on servers is noticeable. To sum up, it can be argued that the merits of e-books outweigh its drawbacks and yet we should consider negative aspects and attempt to eliminate them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
and technological inventions appear in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
forms.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parts
of it affect the entire human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parts
of it function
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for a short period of time for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
selected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of the world or population. One of the distinctive shapes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is the Internet and computers by which our lifestyle
is altered
every year.
Furthermore
, it effectuates our source of knowledge. In
The comma is probably missing here: "centuries, we".
centuries we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
to obtain knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
computers,
especially
in recent years, have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
our viewpoints.

As a direct result of advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, our life became more comfortable than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. It is true for every aspect; even reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and articles and gathering knowledge.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
capabilities of electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and websites are tempting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to commence
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilising' is British English.
utilising
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.
For example
, the ability to search online and getting necessary information
promptly
has
Possible spelling mistake. 'revolutionised' is British English.
revolutionised
the way we look for something and the way we find the sources of information.

Furthermore
, the capacity of storing a great number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
on the nail-sized chip has replaced the multistoried library into their online edition.
In addition
, the cost of reading will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
due to not making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of physical paper. Along those benefits, we are capable of bringing e-books everywhere we go and this opportunity of portability is unique throughout the history of mankind.

However
, there is a widespread belief that making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of our life is abominable and leads to alienation.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the cost of generating e-books is higher than physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
Moreover
, the wasting of energy for storing virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
on servers is noticeable.

To sum up, it can
be argued
that the merits of e-books outweigh its
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
drawbacks and
yet
we should consider
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects and attempt to eliminate them.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Do you think that modern technology, such as the internet and computers will ever replace the book or the written word as the main source of information? v. 8

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
301 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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