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Do you think that modern technology, such as the internet and computers will ever replace the book or the written word as the main source of information? v.12

Do you think that modern technology, such as the internet and computers will ever replace the book or the written word as the main source of information? v. 12
From many years, people have been preserving information in written form whether it was written in leather with the help of quill or on paper. But with the modernization and innovation, people are more engaged in getting information from internet and computer. Therefore, with the access of internet and technology, there is always a treat of replacing the book or the written words. I also believe that use of technology will someday replace the written words. Firstly, human beings can adapt to changes. In ancient time people used to write on walls and create murals for information then they gradually adopted with writing on leather and then on paper. Nowadays, nobody writes on leathers and walls for daily purpose. Like this, if everyone has access to the internet and computer then the trend of writing information on books and paper will also slowly vanish. Secondly, people are more concerned about saving the environment and using paper means cutting trees. Therefore, for preserving environment people are using less paper and printed materials and more relies on soft copies such as word document and computer software which gives them opportunities to correct and re-correct their works without using papers. Besides saving papers, technologies are also cost effective. Thirdly, individuals, organisations and companies are preparing reports in the computer and emails are used instead of paper mail. So the use of papers and written words have drastically decreased in last few decades. Similarly, people have also access to tablets, kindles, handy computer and laptop due to which magazine, novel, books and newspapers are now uploaded in electronic form. In short, if we see the trends then the use of books has dramatically decreased and if it continues, one day the modern technology will certainly replace the book or the written words.
From
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have been preserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
written
form whether it was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
written
in leather with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of quill or on paper.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
with the modernization and innovation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more engaged in getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from internet and computer.
Therefore
, with the access of internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, there is always a treat of replacing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
written
words. I
also
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will someday replace the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
written
words.

Firstly
, human beings can adapt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. In ancient time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to write on walls and create murals for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
then they
gradually
adopted with writing on leather and then on paper. Nowadays, nobody writes on leathers and walls for daily purpose. Like this, if everyone has access to the internet and computer then the trend of writing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and paper will
also
slowly
vanish.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more concerned about saving the environment and using paper means cutting trees.
Therefore
, for preserving environment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using less paper and printed materials and more relies on soft copies such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
word
document and computer software which gives them opportunities to correct and re-correct their works without using papers.
Besides
saving papers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are
also
cost effective.

Thirdly
, individuals,
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are preparing reports in the computer and emails are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
instead
of paper mail.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of papers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
written
words have
drastically
decreased in last few decades.
Similarly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
also
access to tablets, kindles, handy computer and laptop due to which magazine, novel,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and newspapers are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
uploaded in electronic form.

In short, if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the trends then the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
has
dramatically
decreased and if it continues, one day the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will
certainly
replace the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
written
words.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Do you think that modern technology, such as the internet and computers will ever replace the book or the written word as the main source of information? v. 12

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
298 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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