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Do you think that modern technology, such as the internet and computers will ever replace the book or the written word as the main source of information? v.10

Do you think that modern technology, such as the internet and computers will ever replace the book or the written word as the main source of information? v. 10
The popularity of modern gadgets is increasing day by day all over the world. In my opinion, e-books and news websites will replace printed books and newspaper. Firstly, many publishing companies began to sell e-books instead of printed ones. Moreover, especially young people prefer reading e-books instead of reading printed books. They think it is easier and more entertaining compared to reading printed books. Furthermore, many people believe that news on the website is more reliable and speedy updating than newspaper because news can change in a minute but newspaper could not update news every second. Secondly, technology is improving amazingly. Therefore, modern gizmos are being updated almost every day. Many technophiles are keeping up with this improvement. Hence, companies are obliged to change their goods. For example, Radical was the most popular newspaper in Turkey, but the publishing company had to switch their marketing strategies. As a result, it decided not to publish the newspaper on paper based last year and embarked on publishing news on the website which is required to pay money in order to read the news. The technological advancement in internet and communication technology is offering so much convenient that people are switching their habit to adopt the technology. There are very few young people who would buy a hard copy of a paper or magazine and take all the hassle of going to the store and then purchase it. They are taking advantages of technology and getting these things from their laptop, smartphones and other handheld devices. The popularity of e-book is increasing and more and more people are reading e-books than ever. In conclusion, as it is known, people spend most of their time on the internet. For this reason, they would like to read books, newspapers even play cards on it. Thus, they demand e-books instead of printed ones. In my view, in the future, printed books will be rarely bought and only found in the libraries.
The popularity of modern gadgets is increasing day by day all over the world. In my opinion, e-books and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
websites will replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and newspaper.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
publishing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
began to sell e-books
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
Moreover
,
especially
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
e-books
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is easier and more entertaining compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on the website is more reliable and speedy updating than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in a minute
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
could not update
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
every second.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is improving
amazingly
.
Therefore
, modern gizmos are
being updated
almost every day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
technophiles are keeping up with this improvement.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are obliged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
For example
, Radical was the most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
in Turkey,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the publishing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
had to switch their marketing strategies.
As a result
, it decided not to publish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
on paper based last year and embarked on publishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on the website which
is required
to pay money in order to read the news.

The technological advancement in internet and communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is offering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much convenient that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are switching their habit to adopt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
copy of a paper or magazine and take all the hassle of going to the store and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
it. They are taking advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and getting these things from their laptop, smartphones and other handheld devices. The popularity of e-book is increasing and more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
e-books than ever.

In conclusion
, as it
is known
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend most of their time on the internet.
For this reason
, they would like to read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
even play cards on it.
Thus
, they demand e-books
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. In my view, in the future,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
The adverb 'rarely' is usually put between 'will' and 'be'.
will be rarely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
found in the libraries.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Do you think that modern technology, such as the internet and computers will ever replace the book or the written word as the main source of information? v. 10

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
325 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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