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Do you think that modern technology, such as the internet and computers will ever replace the book or the written word as the main source of information? v.14

Do you think that modern technology, such as the internet and computers will ever replace the book or the written word as the main source of information? v. 14
Undoubtedly, through the last few years, there is a revolutionary progress in technology while the use of computers is getting more and more spread. the internet gets an important role in everyday life by easing the communication between people and countries. As a result, the news spread rapidly throughout the world defeating the borders of distance. For instance, an airplane crushed in Asia is getting known in minutes from people all over the world. Getting information from the internet is not only fast but cost effective as well. For more internet sites it is not necessary to get a subscription to be able to use their services, but even if it required the alternatives are countless. On the other hand, books exist for hundreds of years and in my opinion, they are not going to be completely replaced anytime soon. Although the information delivered by them could be anachronistic, there is a certain validation of their content which couldn't be guaranteed by internet sites. Books like encyclopaedia are comprehensive and accessible anytime. Moreover, the cost of a book is generally lower than this of a computer, so it's ideal for less privileged people. For thousands of years, books and written words were the main source of knowledge and it will continue next few hundred years. To conclude, from my point of view both technology and traditional books are required for getting full information. Books are more suitable for the fundamental knowledge and internet for the most recent one. Although computers and the internet are getting more and more popular, books are going to keep expanding our knowledge for years to come.
Undoubtedly
, through the last few years, there is
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "revolutionary progress".
a revolutionary progress
in technology while the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers is getting more and more spread.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in everyday life by easing the communication between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and countries.
As a result
, the news spread
rapidly
throughout the world defeating the borders of distance.
For instance
, an airplane crushed in Asia is getting known in minutes from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
all over the world. Getting information from the internet is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
cost effective
as well
. For more internet sites it is not necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a subscription to be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their services,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
even if it required the alternatives are countless.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
exist for hundreds of years and in my opinion, they are not going to be completely replaced anytime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
. Although the information delivered by them could be anachronistic, there is a certain validation of their content which couldn't
be guaranteed
by internet sites.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Books
like encyclopaedia are comprehensive and accessible anytime.
Moreover
, the cost of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
is
generally
lower than this of a computer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it's ideal for less privileged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. For thousands of years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and written words were the main source of knowledge and it will continue
next
few hundred years.

To conclude
, from my point of view both technology and traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are required
for getting full information.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Books
are more suitable for the fundamental knowledge and internet for the most recent one. Although computers and the internet are getting more and more popular,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
expanding our knowledge for years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Do you think that modern technology, such as the internet and computers will ever replace the book or the written word as the main source of information? v. 14

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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