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In some countries children have very strict rules of behaviour, in other countries, they are allowed to do almost anything they want. v.3

In some countries children have very strict rules of behaviour, in other countries, they are allowed to do almost anything they want. v. 3
People in different countries follow and adopt different rules in dealing with their children’s behaviour. There are no laws for this made by any country’s government but this depends on the culture, values and people’s live styles. The children who are the future of this world should be taught to follow a set of rules so that they are aware what is good and what will be bad for them. The rules that are meant for their good should be followed in true spirit e. g. how to behave with parents, elders, teachers, friends, siblings etc. as these are the manners that will help them to achieve success and they will ultimately transfer this to their children. These practices are passed and transferred from generations to generations so that the society is developed morally & ethically. Ethical and moral values are very important for any society and without these, a society cannot nourish and go forward. Now if children don’t follow the rules the society it cannot run properly. Anxiousness and anxiety will rule and people will be frustrated as their children instead of following rules are disobeying them. This will reflect in lives of people also and their life will be disturbed. I have seen families whose life has been destroyed as their children didn’t listen to them and revolted against their parents /elders. In the most developed nations children in the name of freedom of expression do not listen to their parents and leave them and ultimately the whole family suffers. But the children should have the right to ask about any rule they think is not correct and clarification should be provided to them so that they can accept the rule from their heart. The children should follow in true spirit the rules and regulation made by the society, parents, elders etc. Children don’t have enough awareness to decide about the right and wrong and which rules will help them and which rule if not followed will get them in trouble. The society should explain the children the pro and cons of rules so that children don’t consider the rules as weight on their shoulders and in fact feel proud when they are following the rules.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
and adopt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
in dealing with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. There are no laws for this made by any country’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this depends on the culture, values and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
styles.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are the future of this world should
be taught
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
a set of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they are aware what is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and what will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for them. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
that
are meant
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
should
be followed
in true spirit
There should be no space here: "e.g.".
e. g.
how to behave with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, elders, teachers, friends, siblings etc. as these are the manners that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to achieve
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
success and
they will
ultimately
transfer this to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. These practices
are passed
and transferred from generations to generations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is developed
morally
&
ethically
. Ethical and moral values are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and without these, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
cannot nourish and go forward.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
it cannot run
properly
. Anxiousness and anxiety will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
be frustrated
as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
instead
of following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
are disobeying them. This will reflect in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
and their life will
be disturbed
. I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
families whose life has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
didn’t listen to them and revolted against their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
/elders. In the most developed nations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the name of freedom of expression do not listen to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
them and
ultimately
the whole family suffers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should have the right to ask about any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
is not correct and clarification should
be provided
to them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can accept the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
from their heart.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
in true spirit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and regulation made by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, elders etc.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
don’t have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
awareness to decide about the right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them and which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
if not followed will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
them in trouble. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the pro and cons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
don’t consider the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
as weight on their shoulders and in fact feel proud when they are following the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries children have very strict rules of behaviour, in other countries, they are allowed to do almost anything they want. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
369 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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