As the number of people who are overweight increases from day to day in the majority of countries in the world, it is essential that we consider the reasons for the growth in obesity among both youngsters and grown-ups. This naturally leads us to the question of how should societies treat the people who faced the problem of fatness. In this essay, I will explore the reasons for the situation in question, and try to find out the methods that can be applied to reduce corpulence among the people.
To begin with, obesity may be viewed as a consequence of a better quality of life. Nowadays, workers earn more money and can afford eating food in the desirable amounts. This is not a problem as long as they are physically active. For instance, the US soldiers are keen eaters but their work requires a lot of energy thus reducing the risk of becoming burly. Therefore, the first step to avoid portliness is to do as many physical activities as you can or simply walk about five kilometres a day.
Another common reason of why people get stout is the quality of food they consume. It is obvious that humans prefer nutrient products, which often contain insane amounts of fat. I believe that most of us have to change the diet by including more fruits and vegetables into it and replacing meat with fish, which is more contributing to our health.
Many scientists believe that stress can also cause the wish of devouring more products, especially bakery and sweets. This mainly concerns women rather than men. To avoid this, those who are exposed to stress must find other ways of coping with it. They can relax their nerves by going in for sports, such as swimming and running. 
As the number of  
people
 who are overweight increases from day to day in the majority of countries in the world, it is essential that we consider the reasons for the growth in obesity among both youngsters and grown-ups. This  
naturally
 leads us to the question of how should societies treat the  
people
 who faced the problem of fatness. In this essay, I will explore the reasons for the situation in question, and try to find out the methods that can  
be applied
 to  
reduce
 corpulence among the  
people
.
To  
begin
 with, obesity may  
be viewed
 as a consequence of a better quality of life. Nowadays, workers earn more money and can afford eating food in the desirable amounts. This is not a problem as long as they are  
physically
 active.  
For instance
, the US soldiers are keen eaters  
but
 their work requires  
a lot of
 energy  
thus
 reducing the  
risk
 of becoming burly.  
Therefore
, the  
first
 step to avoid portliness is to do as  
many
 physical activities as you can or  
simply
 walk about five  
kilometres
 a day.
Another common reason of why  
people
  get
 stout is the quality of food they consume. It is obvious that humans prefer nutrient products, which  
often
 contain insane amounts of  
fat
. I believe that most of us  
have to
  change
 the diet by including more fruits and vegetables into it and replacing meat with fish, which is more contributing to our health. 
Many
 scientists believe that  
stress
 can  
also
 cause the wish of devouring more products,  
especially
 bakery and sweets. This  
mainly
 concerns women  
rather
 than  
men
. To avoid this, those who  
are exposed
 to  
stress
  must
 find other ways of coping with it. They can relax their nerves by going in for sports, such as swimming and running. 
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes