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Do you think punishment should be used to teach children wrong or right actions? v.1

Do you think punishment should be used to teach children wrong or right actions? v. 1
Human behaviours in any society can either be said to be right or wrong. Human beings learn how to behave through different means, one of which is punishment. It is important to note that human behaviours are better learnt at an early age because behaviours become habits. Needed to state that habits are not easily changed. This is the reason why young humans – children- need to learn the distinctions between right and wrong at an early age. One of the most effective ways of teaching children is by punishing them. I will be discussing the importance of punishment in teaching children the difference between right and wrong. Human beings are self-protective and are likely to run away from anything that inflicts pain or bodily injury. Punishment is a way of inflicting pain because it is usually carried out by the use of painful objects like cane. Since pain is naturally alien to human beings, children are likely to avoid it and that could deter them from doing the wrong thing. For example, at grade ii my mother inflicted pain on me through her bare hands when I ate meat from the pot. On another occasion, i left the house chore undone and this caused me my dinner. I woke up severally during the midnight because i skipped dinner. I therefore resolved to always listen to her to avoid going through the pain of doing otherwise. Human beings are naturally afraid of any form of deprivation. Deprivation can be an effective way of punishing children at an early age to teach them the difference between right and wrong. For example, I was left at home to be alone at an instance when I fought with one of my siblings. My two younger siblings were taken to the beach to have fun while I was asked to stay at home. They came back narrating their experience and I felt deprived. This made me to abstain from fighting for many years thereafter. In conclusion, it is important to use punishment to teach children the importance of doing right and wrong actions because it shows seriousness on the part of the parent or guardian. Quite impressively, the society where we belong also uses punitive measures to deter citizens from doing wrong actions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Human
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
in any society can either
be said
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Human
beings learn how to behave through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
means, one of which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to note that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
are better
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt at
an early age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
become habits. Needed to state that habits are not
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. This is the reason why young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children-
need to learn the distinctions between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
at an early age. One of the most effective ways of teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is by punishing them. I will be discussing the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
in teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the difference between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.

Human beings are self-protective and are likely to run away from anything that inflicts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pain
or
bodily
injury.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Punishment
is a way of inflicting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
usually
carried out by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of painful objects like cane. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pain
is
naturally
alien to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are likely to avoid it and that could deter them from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
thing.
For example
, at grade ii my mother inflicted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pain
on me through her bare hands when I ate meat from the pot. On another occasion,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
chore undone and this caused me my dinner. I woke up
severally
during the midnight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
skipped dinner. I
therefore
resolved to always listen to her to avoid going through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pain
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
otherwise
.

Human beings are
naturally
afraid of any form of deprivation. Deprivation can be an effective way of punishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at an early age to teach them the difference between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
.
For example
, I was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
at home to be alone at an instance when I fought with one of my siblings. My two younger siblings
were taken
to the beach to have fun while I
was asked
to stay at home. They came back narrating their experience and I felt deprived. This made me to abstain from fighting for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years thereafter.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
actions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
seriousness on the part of the parent or guardian. Quite
impressively
, the society where we belong
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
punitive measures to deter citizens from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrong
actions.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Do you think punishment should be used to teach children wrong or right actions? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
379 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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