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Do you think consumers should avoid over packed products or it is the responsibility of product producers to avoid extra packaging of products? v.2

Do you think consumers should avoid over packed products or it is the responsibility of product producers to avoid extra packaging of products? v. 2
This is a true fact to consider that over packaging has become a trend of the modern competitive market. Considering this, there are some analysts who hold an opinion that consumers should avoid over packed products while others consider consumers should not avoid over packed products. This essay will give assertion on both sides of the contention before deducing a reasonable conclusion. There are reasonable arguments in favour of over packaging from the manufacturer. They try to make products as lucrative looking as possible. Consumers have a number of alternative options in the market but some of them concern style or looks of packaging while deciding to buy a product. Attractive packaging could be a significant factor for selling more.   It is generally seen that product producers try to attract their customers in many ways by over packaging. For example, in the case of some biscuit packs, we can see that the biscuits are placed in the small plastic tray and covered with multiple layers of packets. In terms of keeping these sorts of products intact and fresh, it is sometimes necessary to use over packing. In these cases, the manufacturer would show reasons that they are over packing products for the sake of customers’ benefit. From this regards, it seems logical that the customer should make an informed decision whether or not to buy products that use over packing. In spite of views discussed above regarding of over packaging, there are some groups who are in favour of avoiding over packed products and say that the manufacturers are deceiving customers by over packing their products. The cost of packaging and their detrimental effects on our environment could be substantial reasons behind of the opponents’ viewpoint.   All the packaging costs are directly being added to the consumers and they have to spend more than the value of products. A few real products are often presented in a large container and packet and the customers are being deceived by the packet sized. Moreover, the manufacturers often use non-disposable wrappers and packets which add bad effects to the environmental. In the end, undoubtedly, extra packaging of products has a detrimental effect on the society; however, as far as I am concern consumers should avoid over-packaging products to solve the negative effects it possessed to them and to the environment. If customers start avoiding such unnecessary over packing of products, manufacturers would be bound to change the way they are doing the packing nowadays.
This is a true fact to consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
has become a trend of the modern competitive market. Considering this, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
analysts who hold an opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
should avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
packed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
while others consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
should not avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
packed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. This essay will give assertion on both sides of the contention
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
deducing a reasonable conclusion.

There are reasonable arguments in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of
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over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturer
. They try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
as lucrative looking as possible.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Consumers
have a number of alternative options in the market
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them concern style or looks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
while deciding to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. Attractive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
could be a significant factor for selling more.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
It is
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
producers try to attract their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
.
For example
, in the case of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
biscuit packs, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the biscuits
are placed
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
plastic tray and covered with multiple layers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packets
. In terms of keeping these sorts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
intact and fresh, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packing
. In these cases, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturer
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
reasons that they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
for the sake of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers’
benefit. From
Did you mean "these"?
this
regards, it seems logical that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an informed decision
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
packing.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
views discussed above regarding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
groups who are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of avoiding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
packed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and say that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturers
are deceiving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packing
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. The cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
and their detrimental effects on our environment could be substantial reasons behind of the opponents’ viewpoint.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
All the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
costs are
directly
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
consumers and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend more than the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. A few real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
presented in a large container and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packet
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
are
being deceived
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packet
sized.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
non-disposable wrappers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packets
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects to the environmental.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
,
undoubtedly
, extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
has a detrimental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on the society;
however
, as far as I am concern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
should avoid over-packaging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to solve the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects it possessed to them and to the environment. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
avoiding such unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packing
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturers
would
be bound
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the way they are doing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packing
nowadays.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
62Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
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IELTS essay Do you think consumers should avoid over packed products or it is the responsibility of product producers to avoid extra packaging of products? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
413 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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