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In today's world of advanced science and technology, we still greatly value our artists such as musicians, painters and writers. What can arts tell us about life that science and technology cannot? v.11

In today's world of advanced science and technology, we still greatly value our artists such as musicians, painters and writers. What can arts tell us about life that science and technology cannot? v. 11
Various technological and scientific developments have tremendously enhanced our lifestyle and the way this is expanding, we are expected to have a far better lifestyle in the future than the current era. We have already ushered in a new era of previously unknown and unimaginable feats of technological development and the thanks go to the scientific discovery and invention alone. Despite this, arts, culture and traditions still have so much to teach us and this is why we still value arts and artists. One thing arts teach us where science is silent is the appreciation of life. In science, there are a little value of beauty if something does not work. Thus a piece of abstract art has no meaning in science but has great stories to tell when we consider it an art. In the world of arts, beauty matter in and of themselves whereas in science, the only true measure is whether it works or not. Arts offer us a spiritual outlook of life while science teaches us just the opposite. We are surrounded by nature which is a rare combination or science and arts. If we leave out the arts and beauty from nature, it would become a dull theory of how molecules work together. To give an example, if we listen to the music of Mozart, we can learn about harmony and joy through the medium of music or if we read classical novels, the past world reveals itself to us. Moreover, when we look back at the stars in a dark night, we appreciate the beauty and arts have taught us to appreciate this beauty. The great artists tell us about the true joys of life. Thus a classic book can teach us more about life than a biology book can. We do not need to understand arts to appreciate music, books or art exhibition but we need to understand scientific theories to understand how something really works. The artists reflect life and teach us to learn about our inner-value. When we start appreciating arts, we start living the life to its fullest and live for others. So to say, science and technology have made our physical world more comfortable in this century and will keep bringing new wonders in our daily life, arts and humanities have taught us to appreciate life, to live for a reason.
Various technological and scientific developments have
tremendously
enhanced our lifestyle and the way this is expanding, we are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to have a far better lifestyle in the future than the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
era. We have already ushered in a new era of previously unknown and unimaginable feats of technological development and the thanks go to the scientific discovery and invention alone. Despite this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, culture and traditions
still
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
us and this is why we
still
value
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and artists.

One thing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
us where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is silent is the appreciation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
, there are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
if something does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
a piece of abstract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
has no meaning in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
has great stories to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
when we consider it an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
. In the world of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
matter in and of themselves whereas in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
true measure is whether it works or not.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
offer us a spiritual outlook of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaches
us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the opposite. We
are surrounded
by nature which is a rare combination or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. If we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
out the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
from nature, it would become a dull theory of how molecules
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
together. To give an example, if we listen to the music of Mozart, we can learn about harmony and joy through the medium of music or if we read classical novels, the past world reveals itself to us.
Moreover
, when we look back at the stars in a dark night, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appreciate
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
have taught us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appreciate
this beauty.

The great artists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
us about the true joys of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
a classic book can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
us more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
than a biology book can. We do not need to understand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appreciate
music, books or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
exhibition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we need to understand scientific theories to understand how something
really
works. The artists reflect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
us to learn about our inner-value. When we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
appreciating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
living the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to its fullest and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for others.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and technology have made our physical world more comfortable in this century and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
bringing new wonders in our daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and humanities have taught us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appreciate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for a reason.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In today's world of advanced science and technology, we still greatly value our artists such as musicians, painters and writers. What can arts tell us about life that science and technology cannot? v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
392 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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