Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Do you prefer to study alone or within a group? Provide reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

Do you prefer to study alone or within a group? Provide reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
Nowadays, where everyone wants to lead a luxurious life, some folks want to become rich in very short span of time and for that, they indulged themselves in committing crime to achieve this goal and become criminals and moreover, numerous criminals commit further crimes as soon as they released from the prison. In this essay, I will discuss about the causes and remedies of this problem. There are numerous reasons which are responsible for this problem. To begin with, nowadays where unemployment is the burning issue as there are less number of jobs as compared to the population and due to this youngster suffered a lot due to which they are not able to support their family and live a luxurious lifestyle. Secondly, after releasing from the cell there is no change in their attitude towards the society because of the lack of assistance from the authorities in developing their skills. So, after releasing from the cell, their situation remains the same as the government does not provide any kind of work to them so that they can earn. For instance, from the recent research it has been observed from the statistics that criminal commits more crime after releasing from the prison. On the other hand, there are possible remedies also as authorities should provide a work to the criminals as soon as they released from the jail, so that they can lead a better life and support their family in addition to this, the authorities should also sanction them a loan so that if they want they can do their own business as well. From the recent statistics it has been observed that in Kerela the crime rates have been drastically low due to the different earning schemes started by the government. To conclude, although it cannot be denied that people who are releasing from the jail commit crimes can be tackled with different solutions like providing jobs, sanctioned loans.
Nowadays, where everyone wants to lead a luxurious life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
folks want to become rich in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
short span of time and for that, they indulged themselves in committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
to achieve this goal and become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
and
moreover
, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
commit
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they released from the prison. In this essay, I will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
causes and remedies of this problem.

There are numerous reasons which are responsible for this problem. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, nowadays where unemployment is the burning issue as there are less number of jobs as compared to the population and due to this youngster suffered a lot due to which they are not able to support their family and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a luxurious lifestyle.
Secondly
, after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
releasing
from the cell there is no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in their attitude towards the society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of assistance from the authorities in developing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
releasing
from the cell, their situation remains the same as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
does not provide any kind of work to them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can earn.
For instance
, from the recent research it has
been observed
from the statistics that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
commits more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
releasing
from the prison.

On the other hand
, there are possible remedies
also
as authorities should provide a work to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they released from the jail,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can lead a better life and support their family
in addition
to this, the authorities should
also
sanction them a loan
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that if they want they can do their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business
as well
. From the recent statistics it has
been observed
that in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kerela
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates have been
drastically
low due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
earning schemes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

To conclude
, although it cannot
be denied
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
releasing
from the jail commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
can
be tackled
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
solutions like providing jobs, sanctioned loans.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Do you prefer to study alone or within a group? Provide reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
321 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts