Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Do you prefer to learn through hands-on experiences or through reading andexamining others’ experiences? Why? v.1

Do you prefer to learn through hands-on experiences or through reading andexamining others’ experiences? Why? v. 1
Many people argue that advertisement is a powerful tool to introduce qualify products that improve customers’ lives. In my opinion, I agree with the idea that people are being encouraged by some advertisement’s strategies to buy unnecessary things. Nowadays, in advance of technological development and the nonstop progress of social media, customers are easily swayed by numerous advertising programs due to their wide popularity. Consequently, people have purchased impulsively a huge amount of products without having a clear purpose for using them lately. For example, companies, which sell commodities, strengthen intensive campaigns to aim mainly at a target audience of housewives, those people would appeal to overbuying clothings as well as food owing of information overload and do not use it later. Advocates of the idea that advertisements have beneficial aspects might think that these advertising programs contribute to introducing quality products to enhance the quality of lives. They also think that thanks to advertisements, customers could have various choices to find the best product because of endless competitions among firms. However, I think those thoughts are rather ill-founded as the fact might be opposite. In reality, there are many products do not have authentic qualify compared to advertising programs. For instance, some teen girls used the fake and low-quality cosmetic which have a negative impact on their skin. Furthermore, reality has shown that customers who tend to face advertising overload would have difficulty finding which is the most satisfying products. In conclusion, despite the existence of some opinions in favour of advertisement helping people to choose products to improve our lives, I do believe advertising industry would cause people to overspend money on unnecessary things.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is a powerful tool to introduce qualify
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
being encouraged
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement’s
strategies to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
unnecessary things.

Nowadays, in advance of technological development and the nonstop progress of social media,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
are
easily
swayed by numerous advertising programs due to their wide popularity.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
impulsively
a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
without having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
purpose for using them lately.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, which sell commodities, strengthen intensive campaigns to aim
mainly
at a target audience of housewives, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would appeal to overbuying
Possible spelling mistake found.
clothings
as well
as food owing of information overload and do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it later.

Advocates of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
have beneficial aspects might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these advertising programs contribute to introducing quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to enhance the quality of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. They
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that thanks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
could have various choices to find the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of endless competitions among firms.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
those thoughts are
rather
ill-founded as the fact might be opposite. In reality, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
do not have authentic qualify compared to advertising programs.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
teen girls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the fake and low-quality cosmetic which have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on their skin.
Furthermore
, reality has shown that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
who tend to face advertising overload would have difficulty finding which is the most satisfying products.

In conclusion
, despite the existence of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opinions in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, I do believe advertising industry would cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to overspend money on unnecessary things.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Do you prefer to learn through hands-on experiences or through reading andexamining others’ experiences? Why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts