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Some people want to have a job where they can make or do things with their hands. Other people prefer having a job where they work with their heads and think. Which type of job do you prefer? v.1

Some people want to have a job where they can make or do things with their hands. Other people prefer having a job where they work with their heads and think. Which type of job do you prefer? v. 1
Today, besides works just engaged with functional especially handy affairs, there are a wide range of works including thinking and analyzing different issues and procedures. Although working in occupations which require mental activities and thinking would hold some beneficial in strengthening your perceiving abilities and even the health of mind, the vitalizing and efficient effects of practical affairs of jobs involved in hand workings cannot be disregarded. The following essay deals with the reasons supporting this point of view. Undoubtedly, contemplation and revising various types of subjects in different scientific fields are the critical desires of human to assuage his demand of curiosity. Therefore, working which are just full of routine and repetitive actions without any thinking and searching processes would be tedious and aimless for such people with high need of analyzing things. And they will be merely satisfied with jobs containing surveys and studies to challenge their mind. In addition, meeting this penchant for thinking not only provides these people a sense of satisfaction and pleasurable fulfillment, but also helps them to have more healthy mind as they utilize their mind in a vigorous way. For instance, we can find people doing more mental activities in their work more inclined to use their memory and consequently avoid some mental diseases such as amnesia. However, there would be some precious experiments and understandings in pragmatic affairs such as handy actions which emphasize the fundamental role of professions including such these affairs. One important effect of practical works is that people would have the opportunity to find out the real aspects of the theories and written or thought facts by touching and experiencing them in front of their eyes. And sometimes they even get acquainted with such realistic facts and information that are not stated in mere theoretical science. Moreover, having the chance to do physical activities contribute to releasing the repressed desires and thinking through the more exiting activities rather than just sitting and thinking. In other words, it helps you to get rid of the stresses and worries of daily life by relieving your anxious through activity. Or even by considering the artists such as painters and artifacts using hands would be the best way to express their feelings and notions. Finally, it can be concluded that jobs demanding thinking processes would be beneficial to meet human’s inclination to know and discover and also helps him to have mental health. Nonetheless, the great influences of experimental works and using hands such as experimenting instructive situations and also expressing their feelings and believes should be taken into consideration.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
besides
works
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
engaged with functional
especially
handy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affairs
, there are a wide range of works including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
and analyzing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
issues and procedures. Although working in occupations which require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
would hold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
beneficial in strengthening your perceiving abilities and even the health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
, the vitalizing and efficient effects of practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affairs
of jobs involved in hand workings cannot
be disregarded
. The following essay deals with the reasons supporting this point of view.

Undoubtedly
, contemplation and revising various types of subjects in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
scientific fields are the critical desires of human to assuage his demand of curiosity.
Therefore
, working which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
full of routine and repetitive actions without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
and searching processes would be tedious and aimless for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with high need of analyzing things. And they will be
merely
satisfied with jobs containing surveys and studies to challenge their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
.
In addition
, meeting this penchant for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provides these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a sense of satisfaction and pleasurable fulfillment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to have more healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
as they utilize their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
Consider replacing "in a vigorous way" with the adverb for "vigorous"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a vigorous way
.
For instance
, we can find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
doing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more inclined to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their memory and
consequently
avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
diseases such as amnesia.

However
, there would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
precious experiments and understandings in pragmatic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affairs
such as handy actions which emphasize the fundamental role of professions including such these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affairs
. One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
effect of practical works is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would have the opportunity to find out the real aspects of the theories and written or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
facts by touching and experiencing them in front of their eyes. And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
acquainted with such realistic facts and information that are not stated in mere theoretical science.
Moreover
, having the chance to do physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
contribute to releasing the repressed desires and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
through the more exiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sitting and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
.
In other words
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stresses
and worries of daily life by relieving your anxious through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
. Or even by considering the artists such as painters and artifacts using hands would be the best way to express their feelings and notions.

Finally
, it can
be concluded
that jobs demanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
processes would be beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
human’s inclination to know and discover and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
him to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
health. Nonetheless, the great influences of experimental works and using hands such as experimenting instructive situations and
also
expressing their feelings and believes should
be taken
into consideration.
20Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people want to have a job where they can make or do things with their hands. Other people prefer having a job where they work with their heads and think. Which type of job do you prefer? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
429 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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