Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Social media such as Facebook, Twitter is replacing facr-to-face contact in people's lives. DO you think the advatages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

Social media such as Facebook, Twitter is replacing facr-to-face contact in people's lives. DO you think the advatages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
Advances in science and technology may lengthen the lifespan of a human to 100 or even 200 years. Some sections in the society hold a positive view that it is beneficial to humanity while others argue that it is not. In my own perception, I agree that it is a good thing in the society. In this contemporary world, people are getting healthier with the help of medical advances and technology. Advances in medical science will not only save peoples’ lives, but will also increase the chance rate of a human to live longer than expected. As a result, this allows people to contribute their passion and talent to the nation. For example, Zhe Shunghao, a talented translator of Shakespeare’s works, passed away at the age of 32 due to illness. If he could live longer, there might be more Chinese versions of Shakespeare and more people could appreciate the Chinese translation art. Despite the benefits, some people, however, argue that it has a negative impact. One problem is that it increases morbidity. It is because people have lived long enough to get age related disease, dementia and dysfunction. This could create a need for further medical advancement and will need a bigger amount of budget to allocate expenditures. A study on the financial impact of longevity by the International Monetary Fund says a growing aging population creates financial risks for governments and private pension providers as well as individuals themselves. In conclusion, expanding a human lifespan may have some negative impact on the society; its advantages outweigh the advantages. In my opinion, it is a positive development as one can enjoy the later life.
Advances in science and technology may lengthen the lifespan of a human to 100 or even 200 years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
sections in the society hold a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
view that it is beneficial to humanity while others argue that it is not. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perception, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing in the society.

In this contemporary world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting healthier with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of medical advances and technology. Advances in medical science will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
will
also
increase the chance rate of a human to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
.
As a result
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to contribute their passion and talent to the nation.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zhe
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shunghao
, a talented translator of Shakespeare’s works, passed away at the age of 32 due to illness. If he could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer, there might be more Chinese versions of Shakespeare and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could appreciate the Chinese translation art.

Despite the benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
however
, argue that it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact. One problem is that it increases morbidity. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
long
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
age related disease, dementia and dysfunction. This could create a need for
further
medical advancement and will need a bigger amount of budget to allocate expenditures. A study on the financial impact of longevity by the International Monetary Fund says a growing aging population creates financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and private pension providers
as well
as individuals themselves.

In conclusion
, expanding a human lifespan may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the society; its advantages outweigh the advantages. In my opinion, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development as one can enjoy the later life.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Social media such as Facebook, Twitter is replacing facr-to-face contact in people's lives. DO you think the advatages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts