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Are you studying What major What do you like and you dont like What do you want to change or improve v.1

Are you studying What major What do you like and you dont like What do you want to change or improve v. 1
Nowadays, it is difficult to enrol in a tertiary education institute for both lower class people and upper class people. In my opinion, I believe that to opt into university is extremely hard due to prerequisites, cost and course structure. A good reason for people to find an enrollment in university hectic is that the pre requirements they have. Firstly, every institute has certain requirements to get into the specific course, such as pre aptitude test and previous grades. Pre-screening tests are always tend to be troublesome for most of the students and, hence, they end up receiving unacceptable scores. Furthermore, some higher education institute have certain age or background requirements which cannot be fulfilled by most parents. Another obstacle that people face to access university is the finance they need to complete studies. Most university courses are expensive and have extra curriculum activities which they have to pay for and those are compulsory for the graduation. Sometimes pupils have to show certain funds that can assure the authorities they can afford expenses throughout the journey, especially if one is going for the overseas education. Finally, current education system is for profit purpose rather than providing quality education and, consequently, professors design course in a way that they do not adhere to one's requirement that they are looking to obtain during or after the completion of study. In conclusion, I think, because of tough requirements and management's mind set of increasing profit makes university inaccessible to everyone regardless of their background.
Nowadays, it is difficult to enrol in a tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
institute for both lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and upper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In my opinion, I believe that to opt into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
due to prerequisites, cost and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
structure.

A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to find an enrollment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
hectic is that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre
requirements they have.
Firstly
, every institute has certain requirements to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into the specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
, such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre
aptitude
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
and previous grades.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pre-screening
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
are always
Consider using a past participle here: "tended".
tend
to be troublesome for most of the students and,
hence
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up receiving unacceptable scores.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
institute have certain age or background requirements which cannot
be fulfilled
by most parents.

Another obstacle that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face to access
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is the finance they need to complete studies. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
are expensive and have extra curriculum activities which they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay for and those are compulsory for the graduation.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
pupils
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
certain funds that can assure the authorities they can afford expenses throughout the journey,
especially
if one is going for the overseas education.

Finally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system is for profit purpose
rather
than providing quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and,
consequently
, professors design
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
in a way that they do not adhere to one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
requirement
that they are looking to obtain during or after the completion of study.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of tough requirements and management's mind set of increasing profit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
inaccessible to everyone regardless of their background.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Are you studying What major What do you like and you dont like What do you want to change or improve v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
251 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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