Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

1278 Describe an interesting event in history you knowYou should sayWho the event wasWhen and where it occurredWho was leading the eventHow you know about itAnd explain why you think it was interesting v.1

1278 Describe an interesting event in history you knowYou should sayWho the event wasWhen and where it occurredWho was leading the eventHow you know about itAnd explain why you think it was interesting v. 1
While some people consider films simply a source of entertainment, others suggest that films should be educational. Personally, I believe that films can be either, or both, entertaining and educational; however, it is up to each individual to choose what films they like to watch and for what reasons they watch them. These days, films and TV are extremely popular forms of entertainment. Almost every household owns one or more televisions, and almost everybody loves to watch a certain television program or type of film. After a long day at work or school, many people simply want to come home and sit in front of the TV to relax and be entertained. They may not have the energy or enthusiasm to sit and learn about something. Furthermore, films and television programs are a part of the entertainment industry. The purpose of this industry is for entertainment, and it is a multibillion-dollar industry that creates jobs and generates a lot of money in many countries. On the other hand, films and TV programs can have very strong effects on the minds of audiences and therefore people should be careful about how the content of the films that they watch affect them and their families. (2) For example, many people’s morals and values are shaped by what they watch on TV and in films. In addition, children can learn about right and wrong through the cartoons they watch, while adults can also learn many important lessons through watching films. For instance, watching a film about war may cause people to have a strong sense of patriotism for their country which could be seen as a positive educational effect. In conclusion, while educational films, such as documentaries, can also be entertaining, and some films for entertainment can also have many educational aspects, I believe it is not necessary that all films need to be educational.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider films
simply
a source of entertainment, others suggest that films should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
.
Personally
, I believe that films can be either, or both, entertaining and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
;
however
, it is up to each individual to choose what films they like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
and for what reasons they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
them.

These days, films and TV are
extremely
popular forms of entertainment. Almost every household
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
one or more televisions, and almost everybody
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
a certain television program or type of film. After a long day at work or school,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
simply
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
home and sit in front of the TV to relax and
be entertained
. They may not have the energy or enthusiasm to sit and learn about something.
Furthermore
, films and television programs are a part of the entertainment industry. The purpose of this industry is for entertainment, and it is a multibillion-dollar industry that creates jobs and generates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.

On the other hand
, films and TV programs can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strong effects on the minds of audiences and
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be careful about how the content of the films that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
affect them and their families. (2)
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
morals and values
are shaped
by what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
on TV and in films.
In addition
, children can learn about right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
through the cartoons they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
, while adults can
also
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
lessons through watching films.
For instance
, watching a film about war may cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have a strong sense of patriotism for their country which could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
effect.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
films, such as documentaries, can
also
be entertaining, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
films for entertainment can
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
aspects, I believe it is not necessary that all films need to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay 1278 Describe an interesting event in history you knowYou should sayWho the event wasWhen and where it occurredWho was leading the eventHow you know about itAnd explain why you think it was interesting v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts