Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

1246 Describe an interesting event in history you knowYou should sayWho the event wasWhen and where it occurredWho was leading the eventHow you know about itAnd explain why you think it was interesting v.1

1246 Describe an interesting event in history you knowYou should sayWho the event wasWhen and where it occurredWho was leading the eventHow you know about itAnd explain why you think it was interesting v. 1
These days, the topic that the media are blamed for major engine on commitment of teenagers has been receiving a great deal of public attention. The whole host of reasons and feasible solutions will be declared in this essay. There are causes to explain why today antisocial behaviour among the youth nowadays has reached an unprecedented high. First, since one of underlying reasons seemed to be having an excessive exposure on questionable contents, containing violence, rampantly press releases via social media, likes Facebook, kids’ game websites, they cannot call a halt to involve in which becomes aware of a whole novel world. In fact, it is not enough for a child to approach self-consciousness of the impacts of these because of attractive, eye-catching imageries and animations, which shift them to become a new leaf with extreme behaviours, either aggressive or defiance and tend to solve conflicts by the rampage. Second, by coming from dysfunctional families where parents usually act child’s neglect or abuse, the children could be lack of educational engagement. This means that they can adopt to extreme instructions from criminals seemed to be their teachers or antisocial peers, thus perhaps getting rid of drug trafficking. Practical solutions indicating to deter the genre of offenders have not exerted influences on the society; however, it needs more attention from the parents. A possible approach to this would be that controversial contents must undergo a thorough censorship process, especially during children’s developing periods. For example, games concerning the senses of desensitisation, such as grand theft auto, should be imposed strict and severe sanctions from governments’ policies in countries, which supports them to have a counteraction to juvenile delinquency. Additionally, if the youth put toward importance of education and soft-skills, such as preventing from extreme acting from their parents, they could present in the best performances. Plenty of evidence suggests that caregivers play a vital role in the later life of juvenile delinquents, even so with children, taking crimes once, hence acting as a deterrent to would-be offenders. In conclusion, an aim of understanding vividly origins of motives causing illegal activities of teenagers is to seek for workable solutions which can be elaborated to spread out and make the new generation far better. By focusing on carefully educating children at the first stages, the rate of the adolescent lawbreaking would be lower down the road.
These days, the topic that the media
are blamed
for major engine on commitment of
teenagers
has been receiving a great deal of public attention. The whole host of reasons and feasible solutions will
be declared
in this essay.

There are causes to
explain
why
today
antisocial
behaviour
among the youth nowadays has reached an unprecedented high.
First
, since one of underlying reasons seemed to be having an excessive exposure on questionable contents, containing violence,
rampantly
press releases via social media, likes Facebook, kids’ game websites, they cannot call a halt to involve in which becomes aware of a whole novel world. In fact, it is not
enough
for a child to approach self-consciousness of the impacts of these
because
of attractive, eye-catching
imageries
and animations, which shift them to become a new leaf with extreme
behaviours
, either aggressive or defiance and tend to solve conflicts by the rampage. Second, by coming from dysfunctional families where parents
usually
act child’s neglect or abuse, the
children
could be lack of educational engagement. This means that they can
adopt to
extreme instructions from criminals seemed to be their teachers or antisocial peers,
thus
perhaps getting rid of drug trafficking.

Practical solutions indicating to deter the genre of offenders
have
not exerted influences on the society;
however
, it needs more attention from the parents. A possible approach to this would be that controversial contents
must
undergo a thorough censorship process,
especially
during
children’s
developing periods.
For example
, games concerning the senses of
desensitisation
, such as
grand theft auto
, should
be imposed
strict and severe sanctions from
governments
’ policies in countries, which supports them to have a counteraction to juvenile delinquency.
Additionally
, if the youth put toward importance of education and soft-
skills
, such as preventing from extreme acting from their parents, they could present in the best performances.
Plenty
of evidence suggests that caregivers play a vital role in the later life of juvenile delinquents, even
so
with
children
, taking crimes once,
hence
acting as a deterrent to would-be offenders.

In conclusion
, an aim of understanding
vividly
origins of motives causing illegal activities of
teenagers
is to seek for
workable
solutions which can
be elaborated
to spread out and
make
the new generation far better. By focusing on
carefully
educating
children
at the
first
stages, the rate of the adolescent lawbreaking would be lower down the road.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 1246 Describe an interesting event in history you knowYou should sayWho the event wasWhen and where it occurredWho was leading the eventHow you know about itAnd explain why you think it was interesting v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
393 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts