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Describe something healthy you enjoy doing. You should say: •What you do•Where you do it•Who you do it with•And explain why you think doing this is healthy v.1

Describe something healthy you enjoy doing. You should say: •What you do•Where you do it•Who you do it with•And explain why you think doing this is healthy v. 1
In some countries the media is controlled exclusively by large companies; in another it is the government that has this control. Often, in a war situation, one of the first casualties is the media, which is seized by one group or another. This gives some support to the idea that the media is a source of power and control. Whoever controls the media also has ultimate control over what is published or broadcasted and what is omitted. They can also add a certain prejudice or bias to their coverage of certain news stories depending on their own feelings about the matter. This is not a new problem, although the issue is perhaps more pressing now that the Internet and play-TV has enabled these messages to be disseminated even further. However, we should remember that readers have their own ideas and opinions. You can control what is printed, but you cannot control the opinions of your readers. I think the only positive here is that, nowadays, people seem to be much more cynical about what they read in the press or hear on the television. In particular, when it comes to the tabloid press, people know that they have to take what they read with a grain of salt. In other words, they read knowing they may be being lied to. Perhaps it is even greater concern that we have become so accepting of this form of censorship. The only thing that can be done to alter this situation is for the government to regulate the industry so that there is no longer a monopoly on media ownership. This also means that they have to allow and support a totally free press, even if this means the government may be criticised or ridiculed within its pages.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is controlled
exclusively by large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
; in another it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
that has this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
, in a war situation, one of the
first
casualties is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, which
is seized
by one group or another. This gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
support to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is a source of power and control.

Whoever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
controls
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
also
has ultimate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
over what
is published
or broadcasted and what
is omitted
. They can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
a certain prejudice or bias to their coverage of certain news stories depending on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
feelings about the matter. This is not a new problem, although the issue is perhaps more pressing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
that the Internet and play-TV has enabled these messages to
be disseminated
even
further
.

However
, we should remember that readers have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and opinions. You can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
what
is printed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
the opinions of your readers. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
here is that, nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
seem to be much more cynical about what they read in the press or hear on the television.
In particular
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the tabloid press,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
know that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take what they read with a grain of salt.
In other words
, they read knowing they may be
being lied
to. Perhaps it is even greater concern that we have become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
accepting of this form of censorship.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing that can
be done
to alter this situation is for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to regulate the industry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that there is no longer a monopoly on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
ownership. This
also
means that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
and support a
totally
free press, even if this means the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
may be
Possible spelling mistake. 'criticised' is British English.
criticised
or ridiculed within its pages.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe something healthy you enjoy doing. You should say: •What you do•Where you do it•Who you do it with•And explain why you think doing this is healthy v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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