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Do you like history? What historical event do you find most interesting? Do you think history is important? Do you think the internet is a good place to learn about history? v.1

Do you like history? What historical event do you find most interesting? Do you think history is important? Do you think the internet is a good place to learn about history? v. 1
Some people argue that various solutions should be taken globally to solve environmental problems. Others believe they should be taken on a national scale. The purpose of this essay is to discuss both of views. On the one hand, there are arguments that environmental problems should be solved nationally because solving these problems is economically vital for nations. According to a recent data, If many people living in a country are not willing to use the air conditioner during summer, it is reported that the temperature in a country will be decreasing. This leads to cost benefits for companies which have a problem of wasting lots of money for air conditioner during summer. Hence, the government should encourage people to consider the environmental problems such as global warming. On the other hand, some people believe environmental problems should be solved globally because without working together on a global scale, it is impossible to solve environmental problems. Take global warming as an example, it is hard to solve this problem on a national scale as a lot of people all over the world should not waste energy. To make them care about it, global policy may be working well. These problems are not only for partially people, but we all human should consider and solve these problems. Therefore, all governments in the world should work together to improve this situation. In conclusion, there are both views, however, I strongly believe these problems should be solved globally because these problems cannot be solved without working together on a global scale.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that various solutions should
be taken
globally to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Others believe they should
be taken
on a national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scale
. The purpose of this essay is to discuss both of views.

On the one hand, there are arguments that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solved
nationally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
solving these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
is
economically
vital for nations. According to a recent data, If
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in a country are not willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the air conditioner during summer, it
is reported
that the temperature in a country will be decreasing. This leads to cost
You should probably use "benefit".
benefits
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
which have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of wasting lots of money for air conditioner during summer.
Hence
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to consider the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solved
globally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
without working together on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scale
, it is impossible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming as an example, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
on a national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scale
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all over the world should not waste energy. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them care about it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
policy may be working well. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
partially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we all human should consider and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Therefore
, all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
in the world should work together to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
this situation.

In conclusion
, there are both views,
however
, I
strongly
believe these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solved
globally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
cannot be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solved
without working together on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scale
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay Do you like history? What historical event do you find most interesting? Do you think history is important? Do you think the internet is a good place to learn about history? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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