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- Do you know about any education programs in this country? - Do you consider teaching profession popular in your country? - What is better to have, a strict or a permissive teacher? Why? v.1

- Do you know about any education programs in this country? - Do you consider teaching profession popular in your country? - What is better to have, a strict or a permissive teacher? Why? v. 1
There is an opinion that a country where health care, literacy, and business thrives is one in which the citizens will be happier when compared to that where these basic amenities are inadequate. Wealthy nations are better off helping the poorer ones in the areas of health, education, and business. This essay will agree with this opinion that they should take more responsibilities with the following reasons Firstly, richer countries should help with medical care in the poorer ones so as to reduce the transfer of communicable diseases which has increased preventable deaths. This can be done by providing vaccines for children at a young age to mitigate the problem. Examples of vaccines that are needed include polio and malaria vaccines. An example of where this was done in Ghana and through this, young children could live beyond the age of five. Secondly, in the area of education. Developing countries are struggling to improve literacy in their society and this an avenue for richer nations to step in by providing books and other forms of reading materials. For example, Great Britain had a partnership with Nigeria on training teachers on how to teach effectively in schools and this led to an improved educational system in southwest Nigeria. Thirdly, in trade and commerce. By assisting developing nations through import and export activities, the economy of the country will improve. For example, Ghana exports cocoa to Europe, leading to foreign exchange for Ghana thereby, improving the lives of Ghanaians. In return, migration to Europe has reduced significantly. In conclusion, a society that has a balanced education, health system, and business will be less dependent on a developed nation making it capable of sustaining itself, enriching lives and making the world a better place.
There is an opinion that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
where health care, literacy, and business thrives is one in which the citizens will be happier when compared to that where these basic amenities are inadequate. Wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are better off helping the poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
in the areas of health, education, and business. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion that they should take more responsibilities with the following
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
reasons


Firstly
, richer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with medical care in the poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the transfer of communicable diseases which has increased preventable deaths. This can
be done
by providing vaccines for children at a young age to mitigate the problem.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Examples
of vaccines that
are needed
include polio and malaria vaccines. An
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
of where this
was done
in Ghana and through this, young children could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
beyond the age of five.

Secondly
, in the area of education. Developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are struggling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
literacy in their society and this an avenue for richer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
to step in by providing books and other forms of reading materials. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, Great Britain had a partnership with Nigeria on training teachers on how to teach
effectively
in schools and this led to an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
educational system in southwest Nigeria.

Thirdly
, in trade and commerce. By assisting developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
through import and export activities, the economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, Ghana exports cocoa to Europe, leading to foreign exchange for Ghana thereby, improving the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ghanaians
. In return, migration to Europe has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
significantly
.

In conclusion
, a society that has a balanced education, health system, and business will be less dependent on a developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
making it capable of sustaining itself, enriching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and making the world a better place.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay - Do you know about any education programs in this country? - Do you consider teaching profession popular in your country? - What is better to have, a strict or a permissive teacher? Why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
291 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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