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- Do you work or study? - What kind of work do you do? - Why do you do this job? - Do you like it? - Do you watch TV? - What kind of TV shows do you watch? - Why do you like them? v.1

- Do you work or study? - What kind of work do you do? - Why do you do this job? - Do you like it? - Do you watch TV? - What kind of TV shows do you watch? - Why do you like them? v. 1
Obesity is one of the most important problems in the modern world nowadays. While it is true that tackling this problem without the official authorities involved in this issue is of a great importance, raising taxes on the processed products is not necessary to solve the problem of bad eating habits. In my view, increasing the taxes on the fast food products is not only going to help fighting obesity, but also could trigger the rise in the popularity of this industry. First of all, growing taxes will, indeed, bring hike in prices in this sector. But it does not mean that the eating habits of the majority of the hamburger lovers would significantly change. While increased taxes will affect rise in the final prices for the customers, they will also contribute to the higher rate of inflation as this specific increase will drive up the prices for food in general. Hence, the ration of the junk-food cost in the customers' basket will remain unchanged in the relative terms. For example, then increase in prices for the most popular combos in MacDonald’s has triggered a symmetric increase in the CPI in the USA in 2006. Secondly, higher tax in any sector and a consequential rise in the general prices have very little effect on the eating habits of people. The 2001 survey of the WFO has shown incredible stickiness of the various eating habits across the world towards the cuisine people get accustomed to. In general, people continued to consume something they used to regardless the cost. In conclusion, increasing tax junk products will have not only little effect on the growing rate of obesity, but could also trigger additional problems for the population. Nevertheless, the role of the government should not be under-estimated; the authorities should focus on finding other non-tax measures in order to find a solution to this evident problem.
Obesity is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in the modern world nowadays. While it is true that tackling this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
without the official authorities involved in this issue is of a great importance, raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on the processed products is not necessary to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
. In my view, increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food products is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
fighting obesity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
could trigger the rise in the popularity of this industry.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
will,
indeed
, bring hike in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
in this sector.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it does not mean that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
of the majority of the hamburger lovers would
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. While increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
will affect rise in the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
for the customers, they will
also
contribute to the higher rate of inflation as this specific increase will drive up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
for food
in general
.
Hence
, the ration of the junk-food cost in the customers' basket will remain unchanged in the relative terms.
For example
, then increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
for the most popular combos in MacDonald’s has triggered a symmetric increase in the CPI in the USA in 2006.

Secondly
, higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
in any sector and a consequential rise in the general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The 2001 survey of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
WFO
has shown incredible stickiness of the various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
across the world towards the cuisine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
accustomed to.
In general
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
continued to consume something they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to regardless the cost.

In conclusion
, increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
junk products will have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
effect on the growing rate of obesity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
could
also
trigger additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
for the population.
Nevertheless
, the role of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should not be under-estimated; the authorities should focus on finding other non-tax measures in order to find a solution to this evident
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay - Do you work or study? - What kind of work do you do? - Why do you do this job? - Do you like it? - Do you watch TV? - What kind of TV shows do you watch? - Why do you like them? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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