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Do you agree with the following statement? Teachers should be paid according to how much students learn. give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v.2

Teachers should be paid according to how much students learn. give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 2
The majority of the business industry and even individuals, preferred to discuss and communicate with each other, utilizing technology instead on meeting them personally whether about social gatherings or professional conversation. This essay will firstly discuss the accessibility and convenience as one of the main advantages and secondly, the absence of physical attributes of an individual as one of the main disadvantages. Communication is considered a vital aspect in a relationship either personally or professionally. Due to technological advancement, it allows to bridge the communication gap between countries, industries and individuals which can be easily accessible anytime and anywhere in the world. On example is that, business meetings can be scheduled regardless of the distance and time, thus making it more convenient that could produce a harmonious relationship, professional agreement and conveying united decisions. Most of the people are opting for the use of technology since it provides an extra hand, which is beneficial and increased their productivity. However, the main disadvantage of using technology is that they lose connection physically and emotionally with each other. People nowadays are stressing the importance of the physical presence of an individual, observing their reaction, grimace, body language as well as tone of voice that plays an important role in creating a good interpersonal relationship. For instance, people need to be physically present in some social gatherings to show support and love. Moreover, it is important aspect of communication to provide an extra effort to reach them despite of the long travel time and their destination just to make them feel special. To conclude, advancement in technology can make people’s lives easier, especially in terms of communication which gives connection and bridge gap of misunderstanding promoting peace globally.
The majority of the business industry and even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
, preferred to discuss and communicate with each other, utilizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
instead
on meeting them
personally
whether about social gatherings or professional conversation. This essay will
firstly
discuss the accessibility and convenience as one of the main advantages and
secondly
, the absence of physical attributes of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
as one of the main disadvantages.

Communication
is considered
a vital aspect in a relationship either
personally
or
professionally
. Due to technological advancement, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
to bridge the communication gap between countries, industries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
which can be
easily
accessible anytime and anywhere in the world. On example is that, business meetings can
be scheduled
regardless of the distance and time,
thus
making it more convenient that could produce a harmonious relationship, professional agreement and conveying united decisions. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are opting for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
since it provides an extra hand, which is beneficial and increased their productivity.

However
, the main disadvantage of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is that they lose connection
physically
and
emotionally
with each other.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
nowadays are stressing the importance of the physical presence of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
, observing their reaction, grimace, body language
as well
as tone of voice that plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in creating a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
interpersonal relationship.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to be
physically
present in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
social gatherings to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
support and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.
Moreover
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect of communication to provide an extra effort to reach them
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
the long travel time and their destination
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel special.

To conclude
, advancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easier,
especially
in terms of communication which gives connection and bridge gap of misunderstanding promoting peace globally.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Teachers should be paid according to how much students learn. give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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