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Some educationalists argue that non exam arts based subjects such as music drama art and craft should be compulsory in the secondary school curriculum They believe that activities such as these can improve overall academic performance To what extent do yo v.1

Some educationalists argue that non exam arts based subjects such as music drama art and craft should be compulsory in the secondary school curriculum They believe that activities such as these can improve overall academic performance 1
Modernization of cities requires more high tech buildings with advance designs and there are many arguments regarding their construction layout. Some individuals hold the view that power should manage the criteria of pattern, but some oppose that by saying that finance committee should be given priority to choose a picture. Nothing can be concluded before a solid discussion of both views and this essay is going to put some light on these topics in the upcoming paragraphs. Construction of scheme of buildings should be controlled by the union, first view says. Definitely, officials are the leaders and nothing can be drawn without their decision. So they should be given the upper hand to select the designs of buildings as they have highly educated engineers and these workers have the skills and can properly evaluate whether or not the designs are good according to the climate, wind speed, population accommodation and the problems arising from the designs. Also, to ensure safety of mass public because many financial personalities owning the building ignore such aspects to make more profit, state should be given priority for the designs as officials can check that whether the designs are good for everyone or not. But, latter view suggests that the person who provides money for construction should have the right to make or reject the designs. These persons know their financial horizons and so that is why they can choose an appropriate construction suitable for their economic aspects. If designs cost more, they can change it because they cannot go beyond a certain financial limit. For example, the architecture of Burj Khalifa was selected by the makers of the building because it was a mega million project. So financial personalities can also select designs that suit them. Taking everything into account, I think that authority should be given priority to select designs as they select it by keeping in mind many aspects influenced by designs and the problems arising.
Modernization of cities requires more high tech
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
with advance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
designs
and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
arguments regarding their construction layout.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals hold the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
that power should manage the criteria of pattern,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
oppose that by saying that finance committee should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
priority to choose a picture. Nothing can
be concluded
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a solid discussion of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
and this essay is going to put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on these topics in the upcoming paragraphs.

Construction of scheme of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
should
be controlled
by the union,
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
says. Definitely, officials are the leaders and nothing can
be drawn
without their decision.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the upper hand to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
select
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
designs
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
as they have
highly
educated engineers and these workers have the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and can
properly
evaluate
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
designs
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
according to the climate, wind speed, population accommodation and the problems arising from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
designs
.
Also
, to ensure safety of mass public
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
personalities owning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
such aspects to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more profit, state should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
priority for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
designs
as officials can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
that whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
designs
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for everyone or not.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, latter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
suggests that the person who provides money for construction should have the right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
or reject the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
designs
. These persons know their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
horizons and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that is
why they can choose an appropriate construction suitable for their economic aspects. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
designs
cost more, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they cannot go beyond a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
limit.
For example
, the architecture of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Burj
Khalifa
was selected
by the makers of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it was a mega million project.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
personalities can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
select
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
designs
that suit them.

Taking everything into account, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that authority should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
priority to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
select
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
designs
as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
select
it by keeping in mind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects influenced by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
designs
and the problems arising.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some educationalists argue that non exam arts based subjects such as music drama art and craft should be compulsory in the secondary school curriculum They believe that activities such as these can improve overall academic performance 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
324 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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