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Do you agree that the advantages cars bring outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

Do you agree that the advantages cars bring outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
In todays world, Car becomes a necessity in human life. Having car argued to be more advantageous in comparison not owning a car. This essay will first discuss advantages car brings which is time saving and then discuss few disadvantages which is the maintenance and daily costs. Firstly, Owning a car has many advantages and one of the most important advantages is time saving. People who travel a lot, spend most of his life in travelling. Although, they travel due to their necessity. For example, Office goner travels from office to home and come back daily and if they use public transport, they have to start early and come back home late as well, due to slow and time consuming public transit. Owning a car can solve this problem as personal vehicle will take much less time to commute. To illustrate, According to a survey in The Times of India, an average Indian lost 15 percent of his lifetime in travelling and having a car can reduce this. On the other hand, Car have some drawbacks as well and one of biggest disadvantage is, It is very expensive to maintain and run a car. If we travel by car it makes journey expensive compare to journey by public transits. We all know, how expensive fuel is. The more we travel by car, the more we have to expense on fuel. For example, I have a car and use my car for the daily commute to the office, which cost me approx 300 dollars per month for fossil fuel. Although, if use public transit, It will cost me a maximum of 150 dollars. Similarly, Car maintenance is also expensive. A car needs service on a regular basis, which costs a lot of money. To exemplify, my car cost me approx 400 dollars per year on maintenance, which would be zero if I use public transport. To conclude, Car brings many advantages to every individuals life, but along with this it has many disadvantages as well. In my view, TIme is the money and if we can save time by using a car, we should go with that. This essay agrees and shows how having a car advantages outweighed the disadvantages.
In
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todays
world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Car
becomes a necessity in human life. Having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
argued to be more advantageous
in comparison
not owning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
. This essay will
first
discuss
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
brings which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
saving and then discuss few disadvantages which is the maintenance and daily costs.

Firstly
, Owning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
and one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
saving.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
a lot, spend most of his life in travelling.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
due to their necessity.
For example
, Office goner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travels
from office to home and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back daily and if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
early and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back home late
as well
, due to slow and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transit. Owning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
can solve this problem as personal vehicle will take much less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to commute. To illustrate, According to a survey in The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Times
of India, an average Indian lost 15 percent of his lifetime in travelling and having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Car
The singular proper name 'Car' must be used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks
as well
and one of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the biggest".
biggest
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disadvantage
is, It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
to maintain and run a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
journey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
compare to journey by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transits. We all know, how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
fuel is. The more we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
, the more we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
expense on fuel.
For example
, I have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
for the daily commute to the office, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
me approx 300 dollars per month for fossil fuel. Although, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transit, It will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
me a maximum of 150 dollars.
Similarly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Car
maintenance is
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
needs service on a regular basis, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money. To exemplify, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
me approx 400 dollars per year on maintenance, which would be zero if I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Car
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
to every
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "individuals'" or "individual's"?
individuals
life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
along with this it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages
as well
. In my view,
Possible spelling mistake found.
TIme
is the money and if we can save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by using a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
that. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
outweighed the disadvantages.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
50Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay Do you agree that the advantages cars bring outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
369 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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