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Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.11

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. v. 11
Although it is thought by many that life is more cheerful and happier during the teenage period, others think that people live more happily in their adulthood. In my opinion, I consider adult age to be the happiest part of one’s life because it is the time during which people enjoy their independence. On the one hand, it is often believed that with adulthood comes the independence, which makes adulthood the happiest time of the life and I agree. In other words, as an adult, people start taking decisions on their own and hold a full right to do whatever they want to. This is what makes them happy in itself when they do not have to permission of their parents or guardians. A perfect example of this is a curfew, which every teenager hates, that no longer exists in adult life. On the other hand, many people feels that life brings more happiness during teenage years because this is the time when teenagers do not have to worry about anything, as they get everything for granted from their parents. Being taken care of their needs by their parents, provide teenagers with an opportunity, which most of the people miss in their adulthood, to enjoy their life the fullest. In addition to this, teenage years is the period that one spends playing and having fun with one’s friends. This is believed by many as the best source of happiness. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinions, I think adulthood is the happiest stage of life because at this moment, one gets capable of taking decisions by oneself. Nothing else can bring the same levels of happiness that freedom does.
Although it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is more cheerful and happier during the teenage period, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
more
happily
in their adulthood. In my opinion, I consider adult age to be the happiest part of one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the time during which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy their independence.

On the one hand, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed that with adulthood
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
the independence, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
adulthood the happiest time of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.
In other words
, as an adult,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
taking decisions on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and hold a full right to do whatever they want to. This is what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them happy in itself when they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
permission of their parents or guardians. A perfect example of this is a curfew, which every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
hates, that no longer exists in adult life.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
feels
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
brings more happiness during teenage years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this is the time when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about anything, as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
everything for granted from their parents.
Being taken
care of their needs by their parents, provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
with an opportunity, which most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
miss in their adulthood, to enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
the fullest.
In addition
to this, teenage years is the period that one spends playing and having fun with one’s friends. This
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
as the best source of happiness.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may vary in their opinions, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
adulthood is the happiest stage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
at this moment, one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
capable of taking decisions by oneself. Nothing else can bring the same levels of happiness that freedom does.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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