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Many companies sell products or services but at the same time cause environmental damage. Someone said it can be stop by ask them to pay penalty, such as a higher tax when they cause the environmental damage. Others said there are better ways to stop them v.2

Many companies sell products or services but at the same time cause environmental damage. Someone said it can be stop by ask them to pay penalty, such as a higher tax when they cause the environmental damage. Others said there are better ways to stop them v. 2
Embracing with various and abandon products in today’s market, we human beings are truly beneficial from the industrial revolution. Manufactures and factories offer costumers high-quality goods at a relatively low price. However, some companies make progress in the cost of environmental damage, which is an absolutely stupid method to develop. According to my perspective, this kind of environment-damaging companies can make changes under some penalty in order to protect the environment. First and foremost, companies and entrepreneurs will do their best to avoid cost like the environmental penalty. As we all know, the profit is the first for any company. If they have to pay a lot of penalties because they damage the environment, they will transform to environmentally friendly or just stop the pollution projects as soon as possible. Many companies, which have transformed successfully, even start programs to protect the environment for the right to avoid high taxes. Companies are not charities but they are willing to do those things to expand their interests. Thus, adjusting taxes to protect the environment will definitely be effective and efficient. In addition, the government can make full use of the penalty from some companies to protect the environment. Tax is the major income for the government. By regulating the tax rate, the government will have more budget to protect the environment. In that case, the government will do more things, such as funding new research for renewable sources, building clean-energy factories, and eliminating pollutants. Thus, the government will help the companies to balance between economic development and environmental preservation. Furthermore, it is not a wise idea to stop these companies or factories. All the factories existing today lead people to a better life and provide customers more varied goods. Closing some companies is an intervention to the market which may cause the price of substitute goods raise. It will damage the interests of both companies’ owners and common people. Also, thousands of workers will lose jobs if the government force a company close when it damages the environment. Unemployment is never welcomed by the government and individuals ether. That is to say, although stopping companies that damage the environment badly can achieve its goal in a short time, numerous social problems will bring up, too. In conclusion, the best way to regulate companies and then protect the environment is to raise taxes in the situation that companies damage the nature severely. Companies will not bankrupt if they make the right decision, and may develop better afterwards.
Embracing with various and abandon products in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s market, we human beings are
truly
beneficial from the industrial revolution. Manufactures and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
offer costumers high-quality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
at a
relatively
low price.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
progress in the cost of environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
, which is an
absolutely
stupid method to develop. According to my perspective, this kind of environment-damaging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
under
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
the environment.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and entrepreneurs will do their best to avoid cost like the environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
. As we all know, the profit is the
first
for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. If they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalties
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, they will transform to
environmentally
friendly or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the pollution projects as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, which have transformed
successfully
, even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
programs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
for the right to avoid high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Companies
are not charities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are willing to do those things to expand their interests.
Thus
, adjusting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
will definitely be effective and efficient.

In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
full
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tax
is the major income for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. By regulating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
rate, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will have more budget to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
In that case
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will do more things, such as funding new research for renewable sources, building clean-energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
, and eliminating pollutants.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to balance between economic development and environmental preservation.

Furthermore
, it is not a wise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
. All the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
existing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
lead
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to a better life and provide customers more varied
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. Closing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
is an intervention to the market which may cause the price of substitute
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
raise. It will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
the interests of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies’
owners and common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Also
, thousands of workers will lose jobs if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
force a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
close when it damages the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. Unemployment is never welcomed by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and individuals ether.
That is
to say, although stopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
badly
can achieve its goal in a short time, numerous social problems will bring up, too.

In conclusion
, the best way to regulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is to raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
in the situation that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
the nature
severely
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Companies
will not bankrupt if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the right decision, and may develop better afterwards.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
59Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Many companies sell products or services but at the same time cause environmental damage. Someone said it can be stop by ask them to pay penalty, such as a higher tax when they cause the environmental damage. Others said there are better ways to stop them v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
415 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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