Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Do you agree or diagree with the following statemnt? People benefit more from traveling in their own country than from travelling to foreign countries. Use specific reasons and examples. v.2

Do you agree or diagree with the following statemnt? People benefit more from traveling in their own country than from travelling to foreign countries. Use specific reasons and examples. v. 2
While many people think that seeing the various sides of the world is possible only by traveling to foreign countries, I firmly believe that one can travel within its own country and be benefited equally as if he were traveling outside of the country. I think that traveling inside your own country has two main advantages. First, traveling in own country is always interesting, because even very small countries are various in different regions. Exploring the micro differences of the nature, alterations of culture and people is always exciting and informative. My travel experience is a great example of the benefits of inside-travel. When I was a child I started to explore my country and after few trips I realized that I cou; d do it forever. Even such a small country like Armenia has its own colors in different regions and cities, the music, dances and overall culture is chaning at every step. That fact has led me to have the opinion that traveling in own country is not boring and is even more enjoyable. Another main reason for inside-travel is the educational and emotional changes it can make. Traveling is always about meeting new people in different situtions. Meeting someone from your country and with the same nationality who is meanwhile too different from you is always educating and can open the other unseen aspects of the world. The example of my friend is quite interesting at that point. He always lived in a big city and never traveled to the villages of Armenia. Once when he came with me hiking, we met an old man near one of the villages, we had a conversation with that man, and that caused some philosophical and behavioural questions by my friend. Later it helped my friend to understand many things which didn' t even bothered him earlier. That is why I think that traveling and meeting new people is very educating and interesting. Taking into account the reasons mentioned above and in respect of my own experience, I completely agree that people can benefit more from inside-travel no matter in what country they live.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that seeing the various sides of the world is possible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by traveling to foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, I
firmly
believe that one can travel within its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
be benefited
Use either "equally" or "as" on its own. When comparing two nouns, use "just as".
equally as
if he were traveling
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that traveling inside your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has two main advantages.

First
, traveling in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is always interesting,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are various in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
regions. Exploring the micro differences of the nature, alterations of culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
always exciting and informative. My travel experience is a great example of the benefits of inside-travel. When I was a child I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to explore my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and after few trips I realized that I
Possible spelling mistake found.
cou
; d do it forever. Even such a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
like Armenia has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
colors in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
regions and cities, the music, dances and
overall
culture is
Possible spelling mistake found.
chaning
at every step. That fact has led me to have the opinion that traveling in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is not boring and is even more enjoyable.

Another main reason for inside-travel is the educational and emotional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
. Traveling is always about meeting new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
situtions
. Meeting someone from your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and with the same nationality who is meanwhile too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
from you is always educating and can open the other unseen aspects of the world. The example of my friend is quite interesting at that point. He always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city and never traveled to the villages of Armenia. Once when he came with me hiking, we met an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
near one of the villages, we had a conversation with that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
, and that caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
philosophical and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
questions by my friend. Later it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
my friend to understand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things which
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t even bothered him earlier.

That is
why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that traveling and meeting new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
educating and interesting.

Taking into account the reasons mentioned above and in respect of my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can benefit more from inside-travel no matter in what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Do you agree or diagree with the following statemnt? People benefit more from traveling in their own country than from travelling to foreign countries. Use specific reasons and examples. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
354 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts