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Do you agree or disagree with this sentence? in the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better to make decision about their lives v.5

with this sentence? in the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better to make decision about their lives v. 5
There are disparities in terms of access to education between rural and urban communities in the third world nations, and people share a different point of view regarding how to solve this issue. Various individuals believe that effective solutions to increase access to education in the countryside with developing education infrastructures and providing competent tutors. While others consider that providing technological devices and the internet is the best solution. This essay will address both views and give an opinion as a conclusion. Building the educational infrastructures and providing a sufficient number of subject specialist teachers is the best remedies to solve educational disparities in poor nations since they are the most essential elements in educational development. The government of Indonesia, for instance, has been making an effort to meet the number of schools in the countryside since last a few decades, and this gives a satisfying result in which the school access in rural communities is increasing significantly. Thus, in the future, it is predicted that the knowledge disparities between cities and countryside school students are able to be minimized. Providing sophisticated devices such as computers and internet access is believed as effective solutions to deal with educational differences in the urban and rural areas as the students in the countryside can have adequate access to the source of knowledge similar to that of metropolitan city students. The rural community children can employ online platform to gain knowledge. Therefore, they can acquire essential insight and have a deep-knowledge about all the subjects. To sum up, I believe that building an educational infrastructure and providing subject well-educated teachers are more reasonable solved to solve educational disparities between cities and countryside in the developing nations because providing sophisticated technological devices such as computer and internet are unable to improve the student knowledge without teacher tutoring them.
There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disparities
in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to education between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
and urban communities in the third world nations, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
share a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
point of view regarding how to solve this issue. Various individuals believe that effective solutions to increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to education in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
with developing education infrastructures and providing competent tutors. While others consider that providing technological devices and the internet is the best solution. This essay will address both views and give an opinion as a conclusion.

Building the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
infrastructures and providing a sufficient number of subject specialist teachers is the best remedies to solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disparities
in poor nations since they are the most essential elements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
development. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of Indonesia,
for instance
, has been making an effort to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the number of schools in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
since last a few decades, and this gives a satisfying result in which the school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
communities is increasing
significantly
.
Thus
, in the future, it
is predicted
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disparities
between cities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are able to
be minimized
.

Providing sophisticated devices such as computers and internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
is believed
as effective solutions to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
differences in the urban and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
areas as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
can have adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to the source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
similar to that of metropolitan city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
community children can employ online platform to gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
Therefore
, they can acquire essential insight and have a deep-knowledge about all the subjects.

To sum up, I believe that building an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
infrastructure and providing subject well-educated teachers are more reasonable solved to solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disparities
between cities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
in the developing nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
providing sophisticated technological devices such as computer and internet are unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
without teacher tutoring them.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay with this sentence? in the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better to make decision about their lives v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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