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Do you agree or disagree with the statement that governments should spend more money to improve internet access not on public transportation? v.2

that governments should spend more money to improve internet access not on public transportation? v. 2
Safe and secure communication is one the most of all essential and basic rights of individuals. Government must provide such services accessible to even the most remotes parts of the country. Advantages of improvement in public transportation out weights any benefits provided by internet availability. I strongly disagree with the claim that public assets should be allocated to internet services rather than public transportation systems Most citizens spend nearly quarter of their daily time on the road in order to reach their working destinations. More relaxed and calm the environment of transportation devices are, better the result of consecutive working hours will be. When people get the chance to take clean and calm subways, buses, local trains or any other high tech vehicles, they will be motivated to coordinate their collective efforts into society goals and put their utmost efforts to achieve this aim. The strength of public transportation is considered as one of the major attraction of the cities and country. Many tourisms choose their holiday destination based on the availability and comfort of public transportation. Needless to say how important is the tourism industry in our modern world to all communications in both economic and social view. Better public transportation system will ensure a high amount of income during peak holiday times or other travel dates which will assist government to go throughout their budget. The quality of public transport affects the quality of weather, in this way, people lead happier life and maintain in good health. Such policies will make dramatic reduction in the amount of money necessary for public medical system and will save country billions of dollars. For example, when the cycling roads are well organized in the cities, there will be more people at any age, interested in using them which will result in overall fitness, less air pollutions and therefore better life styles. All these can be accomplished only if the government spend more budgets on cycling facilities. In conclusion, I think when it comes to whether spend money on public transportation system or internet services, public transportation should certainly win. Correct allocations of all public taxes and other governmental revenues, will help country develop faster and better over time.
Safe and secure communication is
Did you mean "one of"?
one
the most of all essential and basic rights of individuals.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
provide such services accessible to even the most remotes parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Advantages of improvement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
out weights any benefits provided by internet availability. I
strongly
disagree with the claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
assets should
be allocated
to internet services
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
systems


Most citizens spend
nearly
quarter of their daily time on the road in order to reach their working destinations. More relaxed and calm the environment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
devices are,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
the result of consecutive working hours will be. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the chance to take clean and calm subways, buses, local trains or any other high tech vehicles, they will
be motivated
to coordinate their collective efforts into society goals and put their utmost efforts to achieve this aim.

The strength of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
is considered
as one of the major attraction of the cities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Possible spelling mistake found.
tourisms
choose their holiday destination based on the availability and comfort of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
. Needless to say how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is the tourism industry in our modern world to all communications in both economic and social view.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
system will ensure a high amount of income during peak holiday times or other travel dates which will assist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to go throughout their budget.

The quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport affects the quality of weather, in this way,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
lead happier life and maintain in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health. Such policies will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
dramatic reduction in the amount of money necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
medical system and will save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
billions of dollars.
For example
, when the cycling roads are well organized in the cities, there will be more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at any age, interested in using them which will result in
overall
fitness, less air pollutions and
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
life styles. All these can
be accomplished
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
spend more budgets on cycling facilities.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to whether spend money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
system or internet services,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
should
certainly
win. Correct allocations of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
taxes and other governmental revenues, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
develop faster and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
over time.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay that governments should spend more money to improve internet access not on public transportation? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
367 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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