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Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Playing sports teaches people important lessons in their life. v.18

Playing sports teaches people important lessons in their life. v. 18
While some people do not agree that playing sports teaches us important lessons in life, I contend it is important in human life and everyone should play sports. Below are three reasons. To begin with, doing exercises enables people to strengthen mental toughness. To illustrate, we will learn how to overcome difficulties and challenge ourselves during exercise. Take myself as an example. Five years ago I started to take kickboxing class and I often got drained half way of the class. My instructor therefore though me to first know my limit, adjust my pace, and then push myself a bit further each time. Eventually I was able to finish the whole class with ease and had a great sense of achievement, which helped me build my positive attitude toward other difficulties I encountered. That is, by playing sports, people will learn to be strong mentally. In the second place, we must learn to work with others and playing sports allows people to become a good team player. For instance, my brother played basketball since high school. To make the team perform better, the basketball team members took training together every day, discuss their tactics before the game, and review their performance together after the game. They sometimes had conflicts during the discussion but they would find way out to work together again. In consequence, they each became a good team player, and had good resilience, which helped them work with other people for business. Last but not least, people need friends in life, and playing sports enables people make good friends. Just like what happened in my kickboxing class. I once felt upset after the class because I could not keep up with the instructor. Yet my classmate encouraged me and shared her similar experience with me. Thanks to her, I did not give up. Since then I made many good friends like her, and I enjoy the feeling having accompanies encouraging each other and aiming higher goals. As the case with my brother, his old basketball teammates are still his best friends now. In summary, I agree that playing sports teaches us important lessons in life based three reasons presented above. It helps us strengthen our mental toughness, learn to work with others, and brings us life long friends.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
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playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
teaches us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
lessons in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, I contend it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and everyone should play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. Below are three reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, doing exercises enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to strengthen mental toughness. To illustrate, we will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to overcome difficulties and challenge ourselves during exercise. Take myself as an example. Five years ago I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to take kickboxing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
drained
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
half way
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. My instructor
therefore
though me to
first
know my limit, adjust my pace, and then push myself a bit
further
each time.
Eventually
I was able to finish the whole
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
and had a great sense of achievement, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me build my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitude toward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
difficulties I encountered.
That is
, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to be strong mentally.

In the second place, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with others and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
player.
For instance
, my brother played basketball since high school. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
perform better, the basketball
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
members took training together every day, discuss their tactics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the game, and review their performance together after the game. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
had conflicts during the discussion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they would find way out to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
together again. In consequence, they each became a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
player, and had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
resilience, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for business.

Last
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but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
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Just
like what happened in my kickboxing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. I once felt upset after the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with the instructor.
Yet
my classmate encouraged me and shared her similar experience with me. Thanks to her, I did not give up. Since
The comma is probably missing here: "then, I".
then I
made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
like her, and I enjoy the feeling having accompanies encouraging each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and aiming higher goals. As the case with my brother, his
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
basketball teammates are
still
his best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

In summary, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
teaches us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
lessons in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
based three reasons presented above. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us strengthen our mental toughness,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with others, and brings us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
48Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Playing sports teaches people important lessons in their life. v. 18

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
380 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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