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Do you agree or disagree with the statement? It's better to find information in a library than on internet. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

It's better to find information in a library than on internet. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
It is argued that government expenditure on arts such as cinema and theatre is a waste and the funds should be spent on other things. This essay agrees that spending on art is futile. Supporters of this view argue that art is a way of life and it helps one to develop his culture. In the first place, investments made into artistic works have been known to greatly improve the economy of any country through tourism. It is no longer news that people from different regions of the world are drawn to places with outstanding art galleries. As they come, they contribute greatly to the nation's economy by creating more jobs for the local people. For instance, according to the Nigerian Tourists Regulation Agency, tourism accounted for over fifty percent of the total revenue generated by the country in 2018. This revenue has contributed immensely to the funding of capital projects which, in turn, has led to an impressive growth in the nation's economy. In my own opinion, the best legacy any country can leave for its citizen is education and as a result, the government needs to focus on ensuring that the learning system is well developed and made accessible to its citizen. Therefore, funds for art which presently is not producing enough revenue must be diverted into the educational institution. Once education is affordable it would improve the economy of the country as these citizens would graduate and come back to invest the quality knowledge expended on them to better their nation. For instance, the UK introduced a budget cut of 10 percent in their education system in 2015 it was then reported that there was a high rate of redundancy in students as fees became higher and children of folks who could not afford them resulted into petty crime after dropping out of school. This would not have been the case if the budget had been improved. To conclude, although art helps to improve one's social wellbeing, in order to increase life expectancy and standard of living of the public, sole investments must be in the education system.
It
is argued
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
expenditure on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
such as cinema and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
is a waste and the funds should
be spent
on other things. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is futile.

Supporters of this view argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is a way of life and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
one to develop his culture. In the
first
place, investments made into artistic works have
been known
to
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the economy of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
through tourism. It is no longer news that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
regions of the world
are drawn
to places with outstanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries. As they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
, they contribute
greatly
to the nation's economy by creating more jobs for the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For instance
, according to the Nigerian Tourists Regulation Agency, tourism accounted for over fifty percent of the total revenue generated by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in 2018. This revenue has contributed
immensely
to the funding of capital projects which, in turn, has led to an impressive growth in the nation's economy.

In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion, the best legacy any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
for its citizen is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
as a result
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs to focus on ensuring that the learning system is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well developed
and made accessible to its citizen.
Therefore
, funds for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
which
presently
is not producing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
revenue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be diverted
into the educational institution. Once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is affordable it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as these citizens would graduate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back to invest the quality knowledge expended on them to better their nation.
For instance
, the UK introduced a budget
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
of 10 percent in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system in 2015 it was then reported that there was a high rate of redundancy in students as fees became higher and children of folks who could not afford them resulted into petty crime after dropping out of school. This would not have been the case if the budget had been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
one's social
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
, in order to increase life expectancy and standard of living of the public, sole investments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay It's better to find information in a library than on internet. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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