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Some people think public library is necessary, however, others believe that the public library is useless. What is your opinion and provide with some relevant examples. v.1

Some people think public library is necessary, however, others believe that the public library is useless. What is your opinion and provide with some relevant examples. v. 1
Some experts opine that it is an worthless to use the public library while, others support that is the most important. This essay agrees the benefits of an information centre because it's a place for socialising and reading the paper based publication. In this essay, I will provide my opinion with some examples in details. One merit of book room is that it is a place for a socialising. It is because, not only borrowing the books' individual can make new friends and become socially active, rather than sitting at home alone and reading online materials. Furthermore, now a days most libraries provided group activity classes for senior residents like walking with group in garden, arts etc. For example, a recent study showed that the elderly participating in an social activities tend to have an active mind and less chances of suffering from mental illness. Some people prefer to read paper books or newspapers for free, because, latest novels are expensive to buy and an individual cannot afford its cost price, therefore, it is the best place to hire their choice of reading. Not only those, if you don't like any specific essay that borrowed, anyone can exchange anytime, so this another reason that textbook room is crucial. For instance, people saved a huge amount on money on books, according to a survey held among 100 people. Hence, not only for reading materials, human being can save their fund and spend in some other activities as per their choice. In conclusion, a library plays a vital role in the community, therefore, societies need to appreciate the importance of the textbook room of their community and be cooperate in maintaining and saving traditional method of reading and learning books.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
experts opine that it is
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
worthless to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the public library while, others support
that is
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
the benefits of an information
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it's a place for
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
the paper based publication. In this essay, I will provide my opinion with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
examples in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

One merit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
room is that it is a place for a
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
borrowing the books' individual can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends and become
socially
active,
rather
than sitting at home alone and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
online materials.
Furthermore
,
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
most libraries provided group activity classes for senior residents like walking with group in garden, arts etc.
For example
, a recent study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that the elderly participating in
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
social
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "activity"?
activities
tend to have an active mind and
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun chances is countable.
less
chances of suffering from mental illness.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to read paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
or newspapers for free,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
novels are expensive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and an individual cannot afford its cost price,
therefore
, it is the best place to hire their choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
those, if you don't like any specific essay that borrowed, anyone can exchange anytime,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this another reason that textbook room is crucial.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
saved a huge amount on money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, according to a survey held among 100
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Hence
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
materials, human being can save their fund and spend in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other activities as per their choice.

In conclusion
, a library plays a vital role in the community,
therefore
, societies need to appreciate the importance of the textbook room of their community and be
Consider using a past participle here: "cooperated".
cooperate
in maintaining and saving traditional method of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
and learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Some people think public library is necessary, however, others believe that the public library is useless. What is your opinion and provide with some relevant examples. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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