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Do you agree or disagree with the parents should let children make mistake and let them learn from their own mistakes. v.2

with the parents should let children make mistake and let them learn from their own mistakes. v. 2
Throughout history, human beings have perpetually been concerned about how to bear children. Such a constant effort has become even more noticeable in the modern era where children should face lots of adverse situation in their future. In this regard, there has been a longstanding controversy among academicians as to whether parents should let their children to make mistake and learn from them. I personally agree with the above mentioned statement and believe that if parents allow their children to learn from their mistake, they can prosper much faster in their life. In what follows, I will elaborate on my viewpoint. The most prominent role to be mentioned here is that learning from mistake prepare children for their future. Take a personal experience as an example. When I was child, my parents always say to me if you do something wrong, you should write your mistake in your notebook and use your experience for your future. This paves my way to reduce my fault and become successful person. This means that if parents allow their children to find their problems, they will improve their chance to reach their goal. The other important reason crossing my mind now is that if parents do not allow their children to learn from their mistake and solve their problems, they always need their families` support to solving their problems. These people do not know how to deal with their problems and always utilize their parents’ advice for solving their problem. This can create lots of severe situation for these people, when they move to other cities for study or work. To illustrate, I would like to mention some available statistics about this point. The result of the study conducted recently in my country clearly shows that more than 63 percent of people how always ask their parents to compensate their mistake are not able to finish their study in the towns other than the town their parents live on it. The last but not the least reason by which claim is justified is that learning from mistakes provide an opportunity for children to improve some of their basic skills. Prime example of such a practical point is improving children`s responsibility and self-confidence. These children clearly know if they have an arduous problem, they should think about different aspects of it, work harder and find a solution for it. For instance, these children do not feel distress when they have a problem and they know if they make a mistake they should accept it. From what has been discussed above, we may safely reach the conclusion that parents should allow their children to make mistakes because it helps them to prepare for their future and improve their self-confidence. Furthermore, I contended that people who their parents do not let them to make mistakes cannot experience independent life. All in all, it is anticipated that in future parents will pay more heed to improve their children’s basic skills by allowing them to learn from their mistakes.
Throughout history, human beings have
perpetually
been concerned
about how to bear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Such a constant effort has become even more noticeable in the modern era where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should face lots of adverse situation in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. In this regard, there has been a longstanding controversy among academicians
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistake
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from them. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above mentioned statement and believe that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistake
, they can prosper much faster in their life. In what follows, I will elaborate on my viewpoint.

The most prominent role to
be mentioned
here is that learning from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistake
prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. Take a personal experience as an example. When I was child, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
always say to me if you do something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, you should write your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistake
in your notebook and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
your experience for your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. This paves my way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
my fault and become successful person. This means that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to find their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their chance to reach their goal.

The other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason crossing my mind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistake
and solve their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, they always need their families` support to solving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not know how to deal with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and always utilize their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
advice for solving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. This can create lots of severe situation for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to other cities for study or work. To illustrate, I would like to mention
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
available statistics about this point. The result of the study conducted recently in my country
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that more than 63 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
how always ask their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to compensate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistake
are not able to finish their study in the towns other than the town their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on it.

The last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least reason by which claim
is justified
is that learning from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
provide an opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of their basic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Prime example of such a practical point is improving
The character between 'children' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "children’s" (curly apostrophe) or "children's" (straight apostrophe).
children`s
responsibility and self-confidence. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
clearly
know if they have an arduous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects of it, work harder and find a solution for it.
For instance
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not feel distress when they have a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
problem and
they know if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistake
they should accept it.

From what has
been discussed
above, we may
safely
reach the conclusion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to prepare for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their self-confidence.
Furthermore
, I contended that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
cannot experience independent life. All in all, it
is anticipated
that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will pay more heed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
basic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by allowing them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
67Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay with the parents should let children make mistake and let them learn from their own mistakes. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
500 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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