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DO you agree or disagree: The only effective way to encourage energy conservation is increasing the price of gasoline and electricity. v.2

: The only effective way to encourage energy conservation is increasing the price of gasoline and electricity. v. 2
Energy conservation is once again in the limelight all across the globe. Some environmentalists maintain that to put up the price of gasoline and electricity in the only effective way to realize the goal. As much as I can relate to what is intended to such idea, I just do not think it deserves to be called the only effective way. Sure, it is tempting to think this proposal can work like a charm. By raising the price of electricity, government is urging every household to cut back on energy consumption. When seeing the utility bills go up, people would think twice in terms of electronic appliances such lights out during that day time, choosing fans over air conditioners during heat weaves and keeping windows shut tight to keep heat in during cold winters. Quite similarly, with the rising cost of gasoline, commuters are more likely to walk, bike, car pool and use mass transit. So higher prices do help reduce energy consumption, but let’s face it, it is just one side of the story. People are going to be gritting their teeth because normally nobody likes those high prices coming out of their wallets. For those people who live in rural areas, there is no public transportation; and for those who live on a budget, they would face a financial burden that could strict their places to go to things to do. Since this proposal comes with drawbacks that could easily counterfeit its short-term benefits, it is necessary to take into consideration alternatives that can serve the same purpose. First, government should invest on usable and sustainable energy. It is no secret that solar alternative fuel like solar energy can be the ray of hope for bright future ahead. Solar cars who run freely and abundantly without reliance of gasoline is the key to energy conservation. At present, lots of research is being carries out to run the cars, but the funding problem still get in the way. If the government can sponsor this program, there is no doubt that energy efficiency will be guaranteed and conservation work will also be taken care of. Beside, a low carbon lifestyle should be encouraged. Business and government have to take the lead. They have to show that they have done everything they can, and then they could ask people to join the journey. For example, eco-labeled companies tend to reduce waste, reuse and recycle components and extend products’ durability ( life span) and recyclability. And government should educate the public about starting small, such as reducing the amount of waste by buying minimally packaged goods, choosing reusable products instead of disposable ones and recycling. Also, they should be informed that traditional light bulbs have higher energy costs and lower life spans. We would better opt for LED alternatives that not only last longer but also cut energy consumption considerably. To sum up, it is not to say increasing the price of gasoline and electricity cannot motivate energy conservation, but its downsides overshadow its theoretical effects. While other options are available, this proposal should by no means be the only effective one.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conservation
is once again in the limelight all across the globe.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
environmentalists maintain that to put up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gasoline
and electricity in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
effective way to realize the goal. As much as I can relate to what
is intended
to such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it deserves to
be called
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
effective way.

Sure, it is tempting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this proposal can work like a charm. By raising the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of electricity,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is urging every household to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
back on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
consumption. When seeing the utility bills go up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice in terms of electronic appliances such lights out during that day time, choosing fans over air conditioners during heat weaves and keeping windows shut tight to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
heat in during
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
winters. Quite
similarly
, with the rising cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gasoline
, commuters are more likely to walk, bike, car pool and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
mass transit.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
consumption,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
’s face it, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one side of the story.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are going to be gritting their teeth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
normally
nobody likes those high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
coming out of their wallets. For those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in rural areas, there is no public transportation; and for those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on a budget, they would face a financial burden that could strict their places to go to things to do.

Since this proposal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with drawbacks that could
easily
counterfeit its short-term benefits, it is necessary to take into consideration alternatives that can serve the same purpose.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should invest on usable and sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
. It is no secret that solar alternative fuel like solar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
can be the ray of hope for bright future ahead. Solar cars who run
freely
and
abundantly
without reliance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gasoline
is the key to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conservation
. At present, lots of research is being carries out to run the cars,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the funding problem
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in the way. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can sponsor this program, there is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
efficiency will
be guaranteed
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conservation
work will
also
be taken
care of.

Beside, a low carbon lifestyle should
be encouraged
. Business and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take the lead. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that they have done everything they can, and then they could ask
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the journey.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
eco-labeled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
waste, reuse and recycle components and extend products’ durability
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
life span) and
Possible spelling mistake found.
recyclability
. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should educate the public about starting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
, such as reducing the amount of waste by buying
minimally
packaged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, choosing reusable products
instead
of disposable ones and recycling.
Also
, they should
be informed
that traditional light bulbs have higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
costs and lower life spans. We would better opt for LED alternatives that not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
last longer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
consumption
considerably
.

To sum up, it is not to say increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gasoline
and electricity cannot motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conservation
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its downsides overshadow its theoretical effects. While other options are available, this proposal should by no means be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
effective one.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay : The only effective way to encourage energy conservation is increasing the price of gasoline and electricity. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
520 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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