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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes v.839

Parents should allow children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes v. 839
Parents have great responsibilities of bringing up their children who will be tomorrow’s parents, leaderships and teachers. They need to be able to train their children effectively. When it comes to the way of bringing up the children, controversy surrounds the issue of whether parents should permit their offspring to make mistakes and learn from it or not. Some people are of the opinion that parents are required to provide the best guidance for their children so that their children will make the best use of their time effectively. I believe, however, allowing children to make mistakes by parents would be a good idea for the following reasons. One of the most interesting aspects of the current discussion which needs a keen contemplation is that when children do something wrongly, they can keep in their minds effectively. There are many situations in which children do whatever they might think that it would be true. When their parents recommend that not do it, they insist in continuing without paying more attention to the consequence of it. After facing the outcomes of their jobs, they will be able to keep in their minds to prevent such behavior or tasks in other circumstances. For instance, when I was a high school student, I spent most of my time in front of TV. While my mother tried making me aware of my exam dates, I ignored her. When I failed, I learned that I needed to know how to manage my time and choose my priority. Another noteworthy aspect of the ongoing discussion discussion which demands to be reflected is that children cannot gain high confidence unless they are allowed freely to make mistakes. Children’s personalities, thoughts and behavior are shaped during the stage of childhood. When parents allow them to do some tasks without being worried about the mistakes which would be undeniable, they will gain the sense of self-control and self-motivation. For example, in my primary school, I went to English class to improve my second language. My parents asked me to speak in English. When I made some mistakes, they never laughed at me. They wanted me just to keep my trying until I could speak fluently. If my parents ignored me and my ability, I could never trust my self and continue studying English until now. As you can see, parents play important roles in growing high-confident children. To sum up, not only acquiring unforgettable lessons but also gaining confidence are the result of letting children to make mistakes. I hope that parents, due to their intrinsic features to protect their children, do not cause such obstacles to their offspring’s success in the future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
have great responsibilities of bringing up their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who will be tomorrow’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, leaderships and teachers. They need to be able to train their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
effectively
. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the way of bringing up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, controversy surrounds the issue of whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should permit their offspring to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
and learn from it or not.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are required
to provide the best guidance for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the best
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of their time
effectively
. I believe,
however
, allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
would be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for the following reasons.

One of the most interesting aspects of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
discussion which needs a keen contemplation is that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do something
wrongly
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in their minds
effectively
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
situations in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do whatever they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it would be true. When their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
recommend that not do it, they insist in continuing without paying more attention to the consequence of it. After facing the outcomes of their jobs, they will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in their minds to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
such behavior or tasks in other circumstances.
For instance
, when I was a high school student, I spent most of my time in front of TV. While my mother tried making me aware of my exam dates, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
her. When I failed, I learned that I needed to know how to manage my time and choose my priority.

Another noteworthy aspect of the ongoing
Possible typo: you repeated a word
discussion discussion
which demands to
be reflected
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
cannot gain high confidence unless they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
freely
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children’s
personalities, thoughts and behavior
are shaped
during the stage of childhood. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tasks without
being worried
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
which would be undeniable, they will gain the sense of self-control and self-motivation.
For example
, in my primary school, I went to English
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
my second language. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
asked me to speak in English. When I made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
, they never laughed at me. They wanted me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
my trying until I could speak
fluently
. If my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
me and my ability, I could never trust my self and continue studying English until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
roles in growing high-confident children.

To sum up, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
acquiring unforgettable lessons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
gaining confidence are the result of letting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
. I hope that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, due to their intrinsic features to protect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, do not cause such obstacles to their offspring’s success in the future.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Parents should allow children to make mistakes and let them learn from their own mistakes v. 839

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
444 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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