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Do you agree or disagree: Is it as important for older people to study or learn new things as it is for younger people? v.2

: Is it as important for older people to study or learn new things as it is for younger people? v. 2
As an old saying goes, you cannot teach an old dog new trick. That’s why people normally believe it is hard to change habits and acquire new skills. But I think it is not true and the elderly have every reason to keep up with the times. For one thing, keeping open-minded to new things helps raise life quality. While technological advances have greatly simplified lives and diversified means of entertainment, old generation are missing out on the convenience young people take for granted. For example, if the old can be encouraged to use Uber, a cellphone-based cab service, they would not have to stand by the sideway, wait on cold winter nights and leave it all up to chance. Instead, all they need to do is to type in the destination, set departure time and choose a car brand. And then the online system would sift through all the cars in the neighborhood and pick the right one according to the given criterion. In this case, the nearest car driver would pick the passage up right on time. The same goes for household chores. With the advent of smart technology, electronic appliances like dish washer and vacuum cleaner have all come into being, which deliberates the elderly from grunt work. Besides, they used to have limitless recreational activities due to the constraint of physical conditions. But things won’t be the same if the old know a thing or two about computers and the virtual world. The simulation games and home theater system would take entertainment to the next level without taking old people outdoor. For another, mastering new skills helps bridge the generation gap. Young people are innately fast learners. Everyday they are bombarded with all kinds of novel ideas and new inventions. This exposure will reshape their mindset and mentality. When they incorporate newly minted knowledge and skills into their daily lives, the way they look at the world will start to evolve and differ from that of their elder generations. A retired grandpa might find it hard to understand when seeing the teenage grandson either texting or taking selfies on his cellphone, a device never far away from his grasp. But if the old man knows how to download a social app and sign in to an account, he will come to realization that such photo-taking obsession is nothing but a way to seek attention and feel good about oneself. By updating homepage, posting everyday events and commenting on each other, young people will feel free to socialize on the virtual network. So if the old man can learn some tricks and check out Twitter and Facebook, he will soon get familiar with hot topics and buzzwords. To sum up, taking in new things is important not only to young people; but the elderly can also be better served if they give it a shot.
As an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
saying goes, you cannot teach an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
dog
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
trick. That’s why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
normally
believe it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
habits and acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is not true and the elderly have every reason to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with the times.

For one thing, keeping open-minded to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
raise life quality. While technological advances have
greatly
simplified
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and diversified means of entertainment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
generation are missing out on the convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take for granted.
For example
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
can
be encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Uber, a cellphone-based cab service, they would not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stand by the
Possible spelling mistake found.
sideway
, wait on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
winter nights and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
it all up to chance.
Instead
, all they need to do is to type in the destination, set departure time and choose a car brand. And then the online system would sift through all the cars in the neighborhood and pick the right one according to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
criterion.
In this case
, the nearest car driver would pick the passage up right on time. The same goes for household chores. With the advent of smart technology, electronic appliances like dish washer and vacuum cleaner have all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into being, which deliberates the elderly from grunt work.
Besides
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to have limitless recreational activities due to the constraint of physical conditions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
things won’t be the same if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
know a thing or two about computers and the virtual world. The simulation games and home theater system would take entertainment to the
next
level without taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
outdoor.

For another, mastering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
bridge the generation gap.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
innately
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
learners.
'Everyday' is an adjective, and the comma is missing. Did you mean "every day, they"?
Everyday they
are bombarded
with all kinds of novel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
inventions. This exposure will reshape their mindset and mentality. When they incorporate
newly
minted knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
into their daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, the way they look at the world will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to evolve and differ from that of their elder generations. A retired grandpa might find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to understand when seeing the teenage grandson either texting or taking selfies on his cellphone, a device never far away from his grasp.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
knows how to download a social app and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
in to an account, he will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to realization that such photo-taking obsession is nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a way to seek attention and feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
about oneself. By updating homepage, posting everyday
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and commenting on each other,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will feel free to socialize on the virtual network.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tricks and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
out Twitter and Facebook, he will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
familiar with hot topics and buzzwords.

To sum up, taking in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the elderly can
also
be better served if they give it a shot.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay : Is it as important for older people to study or learn new things as it is for younger people? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
478 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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