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Do you agree or disagree with the folowing statement? people benefit more from traveling in their own country than from traveling to foreign countries v.3

people benefit more from traveling in their own country than from traveling to foreign countries v. 3
In this progresive and sophisticated world, hobbiy and spending leisure time is one of the most central needs of modern human which should be noticed in order to imrove the quality of life. Among hobbies, Traveling is very crutial and enjoable for the people in the world. When it comes to this point, people have some debates whether people should travel into their country or it is better to visit another countries. Personally, I agree with the first group and in what follows, two reasons will be discussed to shed ligh on this idea. The first reason coming to my mind to sustantiate my stand point is that if people try to visit their country, It will be enormously beneficial for the county economy. In other words, when people travel inside the country, Their income would be exist in the country and this issue help to triving economy. In the trip people inside the country not only giving their money to their compatriat but also help to improve local economy. Therefore the good economy can affect very ones life. Another equaly noteworthy raeson corroborating my stance is that each country has it' s culture. If people travel into country, They will be familiar with their ancient tradition which construct the base of their culture. My personal experince is a compelling example of this. The last year Me and my husband decide to travel to the east of Iran which have enrich history. After traveling to the Sistan, we saw a lot of senic archiac gardens and buldings that had a special architecture. In addition, now i have a better notion about the Sistanian customes. Last but not least, trip inside the country is cheaper that going abroad. Also, not only It dos not need a lot of money and it is more economic but also dose not need a lot of schedual. People can go to the trip every time they want without any long-time planning and without any cash. To sum up besed on all argumentation stated above, also goig abroad has a lot of merits, It' s better to travel inside your country because it can help the economy and you don' t need a lot of money or time.
In this
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progresive
and sophisticated world,
Possible spelling mistake found.
hobbiy
and spending leisure time is one of the most central
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of modern human which should
be noticed
in order to
Possible spelling mistake found.
imrove
the quality of life. Among hobbies, Traveling is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
crutial
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
enjoable
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to this point,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
debates whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
into their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
or it is better to visit another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
first
group and in what follows, two reasons will
be discussed
to shed
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ligh
on this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

The
first
reason coming to my mind to
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sustantiate
my stand point is that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to visit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, It will be
enormously
beneficial for the county
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
.
In other words
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inside
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, Their income would be
Consider using the past participle "existed"?
exist
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and this issue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
triving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
. In the trip
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inside
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
giving their money to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
compatriat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
can affect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
ones life.

Another
Possible spelling mistake found.
equaly
noteworthy
Possible spelling mistake found.
raeson
corroborating my stance is that each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s culture. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, They will be familiar with their ancient tradition which construct the base of their culture. My personal
Possible spelling mistake found.
experince
is a compelling example of this. The last year Me and my husband decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to the east of Iran which have
Use past participle here: "enriched".
enrich
history. After traveling to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sistan
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
senic
Possible spelling mistake found.
archiac
gardens and
Possible spelling mistake found.
buldings
that had a special architecture.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
have a better notion about the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sistanian
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "customs", the plural form of the noun 'custom'?
customes
.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, trip
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inside
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is cheaper that going abroad.
Also
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
It
Did you mean "does" (= verb)?
dos
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of money and it is more economic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
dose not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
schedual
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can go to the trip every time they want without any long-time planning and without any cash.

To sum up
Possible spelling mistake found.
besed
on all argumentation stated above,
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
goig
abroad has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of merits,
Possible spelling mistake found.
It&
#039; s better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inside
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
and you
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of money or time.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Mistakes

IELTS essay people benefit more from traveling in their own country than from traveling to foreign countries v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
372 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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