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Some hold the view that ideas and information should be completely open and there should be no controls on what people can read and watch in the media TV newspapers Internet Do you agree with this view or do you think that in some circumstances government v.2

Some hold the view that ideas and information should be completely open and there should be no controls on what people can read and watch in the media TV newspapers Internet Do you agree with this view or do you think that in some circumstances government v. 2
More and more people are allowed to access to the mass media. Some argue that there are should not any obstackles for obtaining information, also nobody chases the activity of people such as what they are reading, watching and so on through Internet. Should government perform efforts against freedom of society or ignore this risk? I can see both sides of this argument, and in this essay I will give my opinion and some examples. Generally, people in last centure were as reserved as today. Due to the development of technologies, a plethora of people have access to the newspapers, TV and Internet. The influences to most of them could be not only positive, but also negative. Officials do not let citizens have free access to malicious information. As a result, there is a likelihood that they would be as members of terrorist' s groups. Therefore, special agencies could estimate safety in advance. In contrast, in many countries have been blocked a majority of information source in order to conserve people from absurd idea. However, they could not totally prohibit it, as external hackers tend to find solution for any issue. If government forbid aspects which is used by people they might worse the situation. Despite this, most expert groups suggest that people should be taught what is right or wrong instead of blocking the sources. In conclusion, mass media such as TV, newspapers and Internet could be controlled by government. Nonetheless, citizens should be allowed to use the technology freely. I believe that people would have permission to all of media and nobody follows them.
More and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to access to the mass media.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that there are should not any
Possible spelling mistake found.
obstackles
for obtaining information,
also
nobody chases the activity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as what they are reading, watching and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on through Internet. Should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
perform efforts against freedom of society or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
? I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
both sides of this argument, and in this essay I will give my opinion and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
examples.

Generally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in last
Possible spelling mistake found.
centure
were as reserved as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. Due to the development of technologies, a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have access to the newspapers, TV and Internet. The influences to most of them could be not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
. Officials do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
citizens have free access to malicious information.
As a result
, there is a likelihood that they would be as members of
Possible spelling mistake found.
terrorist&
#039; s groups.
Therefore
, special agencies could estimate safety in advance.

In contrast
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries have
been blocked
a majority of information source in order to conserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from absurd
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
However
, they could not
totally
prohibit it, as external hackers tend to find solution for any issue.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
forbid aspects which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they might worse the situation. Despite this, most expert groups suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be taught
what is right or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
instead
of blocking the sources.

In conclusion
, mass media such as TV, newspapers and Internet could
be controlled
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. Nonetheless, citizens should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the technology
freely
. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would have permission to
Consider using "all media" or "all of the media".
all of media
and nobody follows them.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay Some hold the view that ideas and information should be completely open and there should be no controls on what people can read and watch in the media TV newspapers Internet Do you agree with this view or do you think that in some circumstances government v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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