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Do you agree or disagree with the following statements: students learn better when they are not threatened with possible failure. Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion. v.2

: students learn better when they are not threatened with possible failure. Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion. v. 2
Student learning is one of important process that would favor student to achieve better education. There are several conditions and characteristics that support the effectiveness of learning’s outcome. Sometimes teachers or parents threaten student with the possibility of negative outcome in order to push them achieve higher result. Some people, however, argue that students should not receive this treatment. I personally believe that threatening strategy is not wisely appropriate for motivating students for some reasons. People have different intellectual and emotional abilities. Such abilities would determine students’ reaction when they face challenges and pressures. Those who posses high abilities on these particular skills would react more calmly and thus able to complete the tasks better than who doesn’t. Students with high intellectual and emotional skills are also better in articulating motivation. They will be able to utilize the pressure as their power to do greater. Naturally, the way people behave and act are controlled by mind. So when students’ mind is threatened with negative thoughts, the result of their works will probably worsen. People’s mind is also able to either enlarge or limit their true capabilities. So when they think negatively, their true personal capabilities will be limited with its negative thoughts and thus will result poor result. On the other hand, there are other factors that could favor students to learn better. Open communication is important to help students learn better. Interactive learning will make students become less stressful and thus help them absorb learning materials better. Progress monitoring is also another factor that would help students in better learning process. For example, each student might have one direct mentor/teacher that would monitor his/her performance in class and give personal feedback. In conclusion, threatening students with negative result would not help students study better because otherwise it may harm their motivation and capabilities. I think communication and mentoring session are the key factors that indeed would favor students in better learning process.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
is one of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
process that would favor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
education. There are several conditions and characteristics that support the effectiveness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning’s
outcome.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
teachers or parents threaten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
with the possibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
outcome in order to push them achieve higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
however
, argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should not receive this treatment. I
personally
believe that threatening strategy is not
wisely
appropriate for motivating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
intellectual and emotional abilities. Such abilities would determine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
reaction when they face challenges and pressures. Those who posses high abilities on these particular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
would react more
calmly
and
thus
able to complete the tasks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than who doesn’t.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
with high intellectual and emotional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
in articulating motivation. They will be able to utilize the pressure as their power to do greater.

Naturally
, the way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
behave and act
are controlled
by mind.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
mind
is threatened
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
thoughts, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
of their works will
probably
worsen.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
’s mind is
also
able to either enlarge or limit their true capabilities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
negatively
, their true personal capabilities will
be limited
with its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
thoughts and
thus
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
poor result.

On the other hand
, there are other factors that could favor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
. Open communication is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
. Interactive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
become less stressful and
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them absorb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
materials
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
. Progress monitoring is
also
another factor that would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
process.
For example
, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
might have one direct mentor/teacher that would monitor his/her performance in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and give personal feedback.

In conclusion
, threatening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
would not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
otherwise
it may harm their motivation and capabilities. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
communication and mentoring session are the key factors that
indeed
would favor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
process.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay : students learn better when they are not threatened with possible failure. Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
323 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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