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Do you agree or disagree with the following statements: students learn better when they are not threatened with possible failure. Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion. v.1

: students learn better when they are not threatened with possible failure. Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion. v. 1
The amount of money the government invested in the state's health, among that more than 50% of the budget should be transferred to the fitness education and prevention centres, rather than using huge capital on treating the patients. This essay agrees with the statement given above in sequence to save cash and also human lives. First of all, the usage of fund will be less at the starting stage of the disease instead of spending it on the last stage of the fever. Because money is the important thing on the earth, everyone needs wages to survive. Some people can afford more on treatment, and some won't. So we should take care of our energy from the beginning. For example, one of my friend's is suffering from kidney problem I. E some stones have developed in his stomach. As he was more aware of the prevention, he himself took care of his fitness with necessary medications. Thus he solved the issue at an initial stage. He also saved rent rather than leaving his body state condition to a high level. On the other hand, every living thing is very important on the earth and we should look after it every time. By putting more in aid-caring institute's is more worth than spending high on treatments. So that public can become more aware of their health, and they start caring about them. In the instance, the USA government in 2003 made a sentence that more cash must be sent to the health and avoidance education courses. From that public in the USA became aware of their life and illness rate was successfully decreased. In conclusion, rather than using higher income on treating the disease the public association should transfer more rupees to the prevention and wellness education centres. In order to save the previous lives and also the wealthiest.
The amount of money the
government
invested in the state's health, among that more than 50% of the budget should
be transferred
to the fitness education and prevention
centres
,
rather
than using huge capital on treating the patients. This essay
agrees
with the statement
given
above in sequence to save cash and
also
human
lives
.

First of all
, the usage of fund will be less at the starting stage of the disease
instead
of spending it on the last stage of the fever.
Because
money is the
important
thing on the earth, everyone needs wages to survive.
Some
people
can afford more on treatment, and
some
won't.
So
we should take care of our energy from the beginning.
For example
, one of my friend's is suffering from kidney problem I. E
some
stones have developed in his stomach. As he was more aware of the prevention, he himself took care of his fitness with necessary medications.
Thus
he solved the issue at an initial stage. He
also
saved rent
rather
than leaving his body state condition to a high level.

On the other hand
, every living thing is
very
important
on the
earth and
we should look after it every time. By putting more in aid-caring institute's is more worth than spending high on treatments.
So
that public can become more aware of their health, and they
start
caring about them. In the instance, the USA
government
in 2003 made a sentence that more cash
must
be
sent
to the health and avoidance education courses. From that public in the USA became aware of their life and illness rate was
successfully
decreased.

In conclusion
,
rather
than using higher income on treating the disease the public association should transfer more rupees to the prevention and wellness education
centres
. In order to save the previous
lives
and
also
the wealthiest.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay : students learn better when they are not threatened with possible failure. Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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