Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe arts such as painting and music cannot directly improve the quality of people's lives so that government money should be spent on other things. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people believe arts such as painting and music cannot directly improve the quality of people's lives so that government money should be spent on other things. v. 2
Along with the change in times, more and more nations use many methods to improve the quality of life. Many educators think governments should conduct more art activities to enhance the aesthetics of people because most exhibitions can cultivate citizens' aesthetics and provide many memorable experiences to the public. However, some politicians indicate that the most efficient way for improving environment' s quality is enhancing city' s infrastructure. In this essay, I will discuss both these views, and propose with why I disagree with using art' s budget for other purposes. Firstly, most educationalists believe the appreciation of beauty is essential to everyone since people can foster their sensitivity to beauty. Such process can discipline folk to notice their environment' s detail. Take an event as an example, Taiwan' s government build a church, which looks like a high heel. This tourist attraction attracts many people to go sightseeing, yet from professional views, this building is a disaster because of it use too direct concept for describing its shape. Interestingly, this place still causes many hot topics. Thus, this example shows that most Taiwanese lack the sense of sense of beauty. In contrast, some official people think the investment of art is a minor issue because the official institution can utilize this budget for doing more efficient constructions, such as improving the congested road, looking for alternative energy, and solving drainage system' s problems, etc. The overcrowded road' s issue already causes many inconvenient problems. If the administration could cost more much money to reduce the amount of car, it might improve the pollution. Moreover, alternative energy is a vital topic, as the success of this project can decrease the melting iceberg' s speed. Therefore, most governors indicate official agency must spend more much money on these projects. To conclude, I totally agree that the budget for art is important, especially for children, because these activities can foster teenagers' thinking of aesthetics. These contributions will make the world much better since almost youngsters will have the ability to distinguish what is better for the environment.
Along with the
change
in times, more and more nations
use
many
methods to
improve
the quality of life.
Many
educators
think
governments
should conduct more
art
activities to enhance the aesthetics of
people
because
most exhibitions can cultivate
citizens&
#039; aesthetics and provide
many
memorable experiences to the public.
However
,
some
politicians indicate that the most efficient way for improving
environment&
#039; s quality is enhancing
city&
#039; s infrastructure. In this essay, I will discuss both these views, and propose with why I disagree with using
art&
#039; s budget for other purposes.

Firstly
, most educationalists believe the appreciation of beauty is essential to everyone since
people
can foster their sensitivity to beauty. Such process can discipline folk to notice their
environment&
#039; s detail. Take an
event
as an example,
Taiwan&
#039; s
government
build a church, which looks like a high heel. This tourist attraction attracts
many
people
to go sightseeing,
yet
from professional views, this building is a disaster
because
of it
use
too direct concept for describing its shape.
Interestingly
, this place
still
causes
many
hot topics.
Thus
, this example
shows
that most Taiwanese lack the
sense of sense of
beauty.

In contrast
,
some
official
people
think
the investment of
art
is a minor issue
because
the official institution can utilize this budget for doing more efficient constructions, such as improving the congested road, looking for alternative energy, and solving drainage
system&
#039; s problems, etc. The overcrowded
road&
#039; s issue already causes
many
inconvenient problems. If the administration could cost more much money to
reduce
the amount of car, it might
improve
the pollution.
Moreover
, alternative energy is a vital topic, as the success of this project can decrease the melting
iceberg&
#039; s speed.
Therefore
, most governors indicate official agency
must
spend more much money on these projects.

To conclude
, I
totally
agree
that the budget for
art
is
important
,
especially
for children,
because
these activities can foster
teenagers&
#039; thinking of aesthetics. These contributions will
make
the world much better since almost youngsters will have the ability to distinguish what is better for the environment.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe arts such as painting and music cannot directly improve the quality of people's lives so that government money should be spent on other things. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts